An IDF official admitted Wednesday that “Frankly, we’re kind of psyched just by the prospect we might one day fight ISIS.” Calling groups like Hamas and Hezbollah “so 2012,” the official stated that a fight with ISIS is just what Israel was looking for as a way to boost Israel’s image at home and abroad. “Look, everybody hates them. No...
“This business was my life, but now, it is nothing.” These are the words of Iranian businessman Ali Asadi. The forty-nine year old business owner hailing from Tehran is one of the biggest opponents of the Iranian nuclear treaty recently signed by U.S. President Barack Obama, as well as leaders from China, Russia, France, the UK, Germany, and the European...
When two parties have been warring for decades in a seemingly endless conflict, death becomes a mundane occurrence. Rampant hatred results in a brutal cycle of violence which ebbs and flows almost like clockwork. Within this context, it’s not unsurprising that many deaths go unreported. Many consider the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to be the most intractable in the world, and still...
Following the release of an Iranian ISIS-like video threatening the United States with annihilation, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the creation of a new category of jihadi anti-Western cinema for the 2016 Academy Awards. The category, officially listed as “Outstanding Live-Action Jihadi Short,” was created to accommodate the slew of anti-infidel videos coming out of the Middle East, many...
The ‘Islamic State’ (IS) has expressed surprisingly little interest in the makeup of the new Iraqi government, spokesman Nidal Nuseiri said. “This hum drum daily grind stuff just isn’t our thing. We like to deal in broad strokes, preferably in a downward direction.” “I’m sure it makes the Satan worshipers over in Washington feel good to see the new Cabinet...
Authorities in Texas announced Thursday that they have uncovered an ISIS sleeper cell at a local middle school, leading to the arrest of three 13-year-old Muslim students. Police said they decided to launch an investigation of the students after learning all three had “weird-sounding last names”. They soon made several more shocking finds. None of the young men had shaved...
For years now, the world has heard Israel’s cries about the looming existential threat of Iranian weapons of mass destruction. The Iranian regime has made a number of intense threats against Israel that can only be described as, “Hitlerish.” The posturing between the two countries has been loud, but remained mostly verbal and harmless, like a couple of drunken frat...
After Egyptian security forces mistakenly killed eight Mexican tourists Saturday, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump proposed tasking the Egyptian Army with protecting the United States’ southern border. “Clearly, the Egyptians know how to deal with the Mexicans,” Trump declared. “And these Mexicans that the Egyptians killed, they were law-abiding citizens. So just imagine what they’d do to the illegals!” Trump said...
In response to the Iranian leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s most recent Twitter tirade – basically an ongoing dialog with himself that Israel won’t survive the next twenty-five years, doctors at Israel’s Mt. Masada Hospital have determined the Supreme Leader, who is 76 years old, won’t live to be 101. “Those next twenty-five years he speaks of aren‘t going to be kind...
Western, leftist part time ‘human rights activists,’ full time idiots have today announced a new campaign for better equality in terrorist attacks against Israel and other democracies. In a surprising turn of events, university campuses across the Western world have begun condemning ISIS and Hamas for the first time. Motions have been put forward in the vibrant democracies that are...
Impressed with Donald Trump’s views on building walls and separating people, Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khomeini is considering uniting people as walls. The plan calls for building a barricade around the Parchin nuke site and other nuclear facilities, consisting solely of Syrian refugees to deter Israeli air strikes and possible US military action. Moderate front man, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani,...
With the number of casualties and refugees created by the Syrian civil war continuing to grow, Israeli-Palestinian tensions beginning to boil over, and the spread of ISIS through the region, it’s no wonder that God just couldn’t stand to look at the Middle East anymore. It was as a result of all this violence and strife that the Creator decided...
With just over a year left of his second term, U.S. President Barack Obama is planning to contest the next Kenyan presidential election, according to a controversial FOX News report. Citing what it claims are well-placed White House sources and leaked extracts of his draft presidential memoir, the 12-minute “Exposed: Obama’s Blackprint for World Domination” levels multiple allegations against the...
A long awaited report from the UN on the 2014 Israel-Gaza War has triggered a mutual meltdown in the IDF and Hamas. The Head of Public Affairs, IDF Brigadier General David Goldstein commented, “I was just putting the finishing touches to a well written and convincing description of the fog of war, decision loops, and how that led to the...
Dimona, southern Israel — In a shocking news conference broadcast around the globe, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu admitted that his country has been bluffing over the last 60 years about having a nuclear program. “You know how you tell a girl some impressive bullshit on a first date and then suddenly it’s too late to admit you lied? That’s...
After a series of foreign policy stumbles including an interview in which he mixed up the Kurds and Iran’s Al Quds Force, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump announced the addition of former Godfather’s Pizza CEO and 2012 presidential candidate Herman Cain to his foreign policy team. “Listen, I already know more about the world than any of those other losers,...
In an about-face by Israeli policy makers following their antagonism towards the deal between the United States and Iran, Farsi will now replace Hebrew and Arabic as the official Israeli national language. English will remain an unofficial language, though. In a statement to the press, an Israeli government spokesperson said, “we’ve decided to embrace the Iran deal, rather than fight...
The Palestinian women captured on video fighting to stop an Israeli soldier from arresting a child last week admitted that their fierce resistance against the soldier was in fact due to a case of mistaken identity. “We saw a skinny white guy with his face covered, and saw how determined he was to get away with a young child, and...
PETA outrage grows over junior Jihad’s beheading of loveable plush teddy. “This savage, brutal assault is nothing new for these throwbacks. Too bad the little prick didn’t transgender himself with that blade,” noted an angry PETA Panda bear . The newly released chilling video shows an Islamic State punk-ass toddler, identified as the son of a jihadi; maxed-out in militant garb,...
After Islamic State demolition teams planted explosives which took down the 2,000-year-old shrine of Baal Shamin in the Syrian city of Palmyra, UNESCO has offered to rebuild the first century AD relic using popular LEGO® Bricks. Lego, the world’s largest toy manufacturer, based in Billund, Denmark, will recreate the pagan house of worship using its unique system of patented snap-together...
