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Iran Forced Captured US Sailors to Do the ‘Macarena,’ New Video Shows
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Iran Forced Captured US Sailors to Do the ‘Macarena,’ New Video Shows

In a development sure to enflame tensions between the U.S. and Iran and to embolden critics of the Obama administration, a video released on Iranian State TV Saturday showed 10 captured U.S. sailors forced by their captors to do the “Macarena” on camera. “The Iranians’ humiliating actions show just how much damage this administration has done to our nation’s pride,”...

Saudi Officials Fear They’re Running Out of People to Execute
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Saudi Officials Fear They’re Running Out of People to Execute

After the latest string of executions of political opponents, Saudi officials are concerned that the population of executable Saudi citizens may be dropping to dangerous levels, putting future executions at risk. “Political dissidents, human rights activists, and minority leaders have been executed at unsustainable rates, putting these populations in serious jeopardy of extinction,” said one Saudi prince. “If we don’t...

U.S. to Flip a Coin to Decide Which Side to Support in Syrian War
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U.S. to Flip a Coin to Decide Which Side to Support in Syrian War

Torn between focusing their efforts on overthrowing Shia President Bashar al-Assad and fighting the expansion of the Sunni terror group ISIS, U.S. military officials have announced the nation will flip a coin to decide which side it will back in the Syrian civil war. “We kept going back and forth between trying to overthrow Assad and then bombing ISIS, but...

New York BDS Members Demand Labeling on Products from West Bank Settlements, and Also, New Jersey
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New York BDS Members Demand Labeling on Products from West Bank Settlements, and Also, New Jersey

As a result of pressure from groups like BDS, some countries have begun demanding that products originating from illegal Israeli settlements in the West Bank be labeled as such so as to allow consumers the option of avoiding them.  While most BDS members rejoice whenever such policies are adopted, it has been revealed that many members feel something is lacking.  A subgroup...

O.J. Simpson Announces Move to Jerusalem Following String of Stabbings
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O.J. Simpson Announces Move to Jerusalem Following String of Stabbings

After months of frequent stabbing attacks in Jerusalem and throughout Israel, former Buffalo Bills running back and current guest at the Lovelock Correctional Center, O.J. Simpson announced plans to move to the Jewish state after his prison sentence is up. “I really like how, after a stabbing, everyone just kind of moves on pretty quickly,” Simpson told The Mideast Beast. “They aren’t...

Rise of ISIS Wins Golden Globe for ‘Best Comedic News Story’
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Rise of ISIS Wins Golden Globe for ‘Best Comedic News Story’

After controversially awarding its Best Comedy award to The Martian, and Matt Damon “named best actor in a motion picture, comedy or musical”, a grim film about an astronaut stranded on Mars, the Golden Globe Awards have again raised eyebrows by naming the rise of the Islamist militant group ISIS as the “funniest story of 2015.” “I get that ISIS’...

Iraqi Army Flees Oregon after Confrontation with Protestors
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Iraqi Army Flees Oregon after Confrontation with Protestors

In another embarrassing incident, the American-trained Iraqi army has fled rather than confront an armed enemy. In the army’s latest debacle, Iraqi soldiers failed in an attempt to retake an Oregon wildlife refuge currently occupied by a handful of armed protestors. “I was all gung-ho on taking on the protestors until I saw that some of them had guns and...

Angry Palestinian Asks Why Israelis Care More about Their Pets than His Oppressed People
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Angry Palestinian Asks Why Israelis Care More about Their Pets than His Oppressed People

JAFFA-TEL AVIV – A Palestinian man working at a construction site in Tel Aviv is questioning why Israelis are so obsessed with animal rights while many of his countrymen languish under occupation. “Pet boutiques with names like ‘Doggy Chic’ and heart-wrenching lost dog signs are everywhere. But where are the posters commemorating Palestinian children shot dead execution-style by IDF soldiers?”...

HarperCollins Criticized after Deleting United States from British Atlases

HarperCollins Criticized after Deleting United States from British Atlases

Scholastic publisher HarperCollins has once again come under fire, this time after leaving the United States out of atlases distributed in the United Kingdom. The publisher insisted it had no choice, as British officials had refused to allow the maps into the country until all references to the United States were crossed out. “While the decision does not in any...

Ebola Virus Would Be Taken More Seriously as a Threat If the IDF Were Involved
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Ebola Virus Would Be Taken More Seriously as a Threat If the IDF Were Involved

Jerusalem — World Health Officials (WHO) are calling for an exciting new approach to disease-control by suggesting a tie up with leading social media opinion dividers, the Israel Defense Force (IDF) A spokesmen for the WHO, John Smith, was quoted saying, “seriously, this stuff makes you bleed out of your freaking eyes, just thinking about it wants to make me...

Iraqi Troops “Shocked” By Idea They Were Supposed To Fight
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Iraqi Troops “Shocked” By Idea They Were Supposed To Fight

Baghdad — Iraqi Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi has explained in a BBC interview that his brave boys were simply surprised by the concept that they were supposed to do something with all that Western-supplied shiny equipment and training. “Be reasonable, how were we supposed to know you actually wanted some sort of return on investment?” commented Mr. al-Abadi from his...

UN Study: Aussies, Not Arabs, Are World’s Worst Zoophiles

UN Study: Aussies, Not Arabs, Are World’s Worst Zoophiles

The United Nations Department for the Elimination of Cruelty and Exploitation of Non-Human Terrestrials (UNDECENT) has published a groundbreaking report that challenges the widespread belief that the Middle East is home to the world’s largest concentration of zoophiles. “Despite the endless derogatory jokes about Arabs and Muslims copulating with camels, goats etc., it appears that the world’s highest rate of bestiality...

ISIS Takes Credit for Massive Christmastime Storms over “The Infidelsphere”
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ISIS Takes Credit for Massive Christmastime Storms over “The Infidelsphere”

The terror group ISIS has claimed responsibility for “wreaking havoc over the skies of the Infidelsphere” after a recent string of severe storms and floods ravaged countries across four continents. Since Christmas, widespread flooding has submerged large parts of the U.S., Britain, South America and Australia, driving hundreds of thousands from their homes. In the U.S. alone, record-breaking floods –...

Israeli Officials Fear Tunnels from Washington D.C. Intended for Diplomatic Attacks
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Israeli Officials Fear Tunnels from Washington D.C. Intended for Diplomatic Attacks

In a chilling development, the IDF discovered several tunnels into Israel that officials believe originated in the Washington D.C. area. While the purpose of the tunnels is unclear, investigators fear they may have been built by American officials with the intention of infiltrating the country to restart diplomatic negotiations. Israeli officials said they don’t believe any Americans were able to...

Israeli-Arabs Officially Demoted to Coach-Class Citizens

Israeli-Arabs Officially Demoted to Coach-Class Citizens

For years, Israeli-Arabs have complained that they are treated like second-class citizens in their own country. The Israeli government has long denied this claim, maintaining that Israeli-Arabs have enough rights and to stop being such a bunch of whiners. Now in response to the complaints, the Israeli government has decided to officially bump Israeli-Arabs from second class to coach class,...