Admitting that he “may have been wrong about America,” ISIS Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has reportedly renounced Islam after top Saudi clerics issued a fatwa banning the playing of the hit iPhone game ‘Pokemon Go.’
“After three years of wandering around the desert in mind-numbing boredom looking for infidels to behead, Pokemon Go was a welcome relief for me and my army of mujahedeen, who loved tracking down Jigglypuffs and Pikachus when they couldn’t find any Christians or Shia to slay,” al-Baghdadi told The Mideast Beast. “If those clerics won’t let us ‘Catch ‘em all,’ we’ll just find a religion that does.”
Baghdadi said the game has given him a newfound respect for the America, saying that “any country that allows us to have this much fun while restoring the Caliphate can’t be all bad.” The Caliph said he and his fighters were now considering new religions, noting that Buddhism is currently the frontrunner due to Pokemon’s Japanese origins.