Journalism has been in Roger Pumper’s blood since he began his first paper route in Kabul, Afghanistan, at the age of seven. After graduating from Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with a Doctorate in Animal Husbandry, Pumper worked as a fact-checker for Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly. Pumper was awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2002 for his investigative reporting on Iraq’s WMD program, though the award was later revoked. Pumper currently resides on a goat farm outside Kirachi, Pakistan.
Calling it a shocking example of what she referred to as the “Virgin Gap,” a female suicide bomber who recently blew up a school bus was stunned to learn that she would only receive 82 percent of the virgins that male terrorists are entitled to upon entering paradise. “I blew up that school bus just as well as any heroic...
President Joe Biden’s bipartisan infrastructure bill has successfully passed a major obstacle as a result of a sudden and unexpected move: every single last Republican has thrown its support behind the infra package. The Mideast Beast has learned that it was the specific clarification that “bombing the shit out of Arab countries” will be included in Biden’s expansive definition of infrastructure...
Anger continues to build at the Israeli NSO Group over reports that its Pegasus spyware is being used to spy on dozens of journalists, activists and executives across the world, as millions of Jewish mothers have begun protesting the group. The mothers are concerned not over privacy issues but that the spyware technology will replace them as the world’s most...
PHOENIX, ARIZONA — Donald Trump has issued a statement acknowledging Joe Biden as the legitimate winner of the 2020 presidential election, with the former president delivering a giant wooden horse (painted in gold color of course) to the US Capitol as a peace offering for good measure. The move came as a surprise to Biden and Congressional leaders, who arrived...
Calling the ice cream manufacturer an “existential threat” to the Jewish state – a phrase rarely ever used in Israeli political discourse – Israeli opposition leader and former prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has called for air strikes against the Ben & Jerry’s dairy enrichment plant in Waterbury, Vermont. Netanyahu urged the US, which has more advanced technology and more powerful...
Calling it a fitting response to an act of unprovoked aggression, Israeli forces have entered Vermont and are pushing towards the capital of Montpelier. The invasion comes days after Ben & Jerry’s, a Unilever-owned ice cream company based in Burlington, announced that it would no longer sell its products in the West Bank and East Jerusalem. “I was not bluffing...
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman has joined Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos in the billionaire space race, as the de facto Saudi leader launched the first dissident into space. Though the Crown Prince’s launch garnered little of the fanfare of Bezos’s nine-minute trip into the atmosphere, MBS was able to accomplish the feat with just a fraction of the...
In an effort to win back Jewish customers peeved over its decision to stop selling its products in West Bank settlements and East Jerusalem, Ben & Jerry’s announced that it will release a new flavor called ‘Christian Blood Crunch’ to be sold in Jewish communities worldwide. The flavor will contain real chunks of Christian children, company CEO Matthew McCarthy explained,...
In another effort to infuse social justice into its products, Ben & Jerry’s has released a new ‘Mintifada’ ice cream to honor “the heroic activists who stood up to the shifty Jews” during two Palestinian uprisings. Along with its mint base, the ice cream will include pop rocks representing the suicide bombs used against Jewish targets and small pebbles referencing...
NEW YORK CITY — Human Rights Watch director Kenneth Roth is once again facing controversy for remarks some saw as justifying anti-Semitism, this time for calling holocaust victims “a bunch of cunts.” “The Holocaust was absolutely wrong and there is no excuse for the Nazi’s actions,” Roth tweeted Sunday. “But let’s face it – a lot of those Jews were...
Iran declared Friday that it has not ruled out military action against Iran, after Iranian inspectors reported that a soil sample from the Parchin military base – where a recent explosion occurred – contained traces of radioactive material. “After conducting a thorough inspection of the Parchin facility, we have found substantial evidence to suggest we might be illegally enriching uranium,”...
In yet another controversial move that critics say undermines the country’s sovereignty, US President Joe Biden, for a second time this week, has invited the United Nations to bring experts into the country to assess “falafel injustice.” Despite objections from Republicans, UN culinary expects will visit the country to examine the quality of America’s chickpea-based offerings and to ensure that...
US Senator and former presidential candidate Bernie Sanders boarded an emergency flight to Cuba late Sunday evening to remind Cubans protesting the communist regime that they have a great literacy program. “My fellow comrades, put down your American flags and return home. Your government loves you and has developed a great literacy program to teach you how to read,” Sanders...
Just as it prepares to retake the country, the Taliban is seeing its popularity in Afghanistan wane due to its support for “Critical Jihad Theory.” Taliban officials have insisted that schools, major companies and the military all teach Critical Jihad Theory, or CJT, which teaches that all people are either “infidels” or “anti-infidels.” Training seminars at major Afghan corporations urge...
Calling it a complicated and nuanced situation, members of the far-Left “Squad” insisted that there were “very fine people on both sides” of an anti-Semitic stabbing attack in Boston last week. While noting that she did not condone 24-year-old Khaled Awad’s decision to stab Rabbi Shlomo Noginski outside a Jewish day school, Rep. Ilhan Omar urged her supporters not to...
Refusing to back down from her earlier comments comparing Israel and the US to Hamas and the Taliban, Rep. Ilhan Omar has now equated Israel with the Darth Vader-led Sith Empire. “We have seen unthinkable atrocities, including the destruction of entire planets, by evil entities like the Sith Order, the Galactic Empire, Israel, and Republicans in Congress,” Omar told CNN’s...
The Chicago Dyke March, a pride event held each June, has announced that it will no longer allow gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender people to take part in the march after learning that Israel is a strong supporter of gay rights. The event’s organizers, who previously previously banned flags portraying the Star of David and earlier this month posted a...
Unbeknownst to many, hundreds of straight men and women were executed in Tel Aviv last week during the city’s annual Gay Pride Week. One of the most persecuted groups in the Middle East, Tel Aviv heterosexuals live in the shadows year round, as heterosexual relations are banned under the city’s strict “Cher-ia Law.” But during Gay Pride Week, being openly...
Followers of Democratic Congresswoman Ilhan Omar are rethinking their support for the progressive lawmaker after Omar went more than a week without an anti-Semitic dog whistle. Omar, who has won praise from progressives ranging from David Duke to Louis Farrakhan for her constant criticism of “Zionists,” has reportedly made few if any openly anti-Semitic remarks since early June, when she...
Following a successful meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin in which he presented a list of critical infrastructure off limits to cyberattacks, US President Joe Biden announced that he has sent the terror group al Qaeda a list of 16 critical buildings to not fly a plane into. Biden sent the list by fax, stating that al Qaeda would be...
