Journalism has been in Roger Pumper’s blood since he began his first paper route in Kabul, Afghanistan, at the age of seven. After graduating from Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with a Doctorate in Animal Husbandry, Pumper worked as a fact-checker for Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly. Pumper was awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2002 for his investigative reporting on Iraq’s WMD program, though the award was later revoked. Pumper currently resides on a goat farm outside Kirachi, Pakistan.
Disgraced Instagram influencer and suspect murderer Brian Laundrie has re-emerged after a month in hiding and is now working as a visa processor at Saudi Arabia’s consulate in Miami. Laundrie, who is suspected of killing girlfriend Gabby Petito during a cross-country trip this summer, was believed to have either fled or to be in hiding. But it turns out Laundrie...
Left-wing protestors who angrily followed Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema into a restroom over her opposition to a $3.5 trillion spending bill have an unexpected ally: former President Donald Trump. “Of course it’s fine to follow women in the bathroom against their will,” Trump told The Mideast Beast. “How else are you supposed to grab them by the pussy?” Trump also...
Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have been shocked by the recent discovery that Mount Sinai, the spot where Moses received the ten commandments from God, was in fact in modern day Saudi Arabia and not in Banner County, Nebraska as previously believed. Archeologists now say that the Jabal Maqula mountain in northwestern Saudi Arabia is...
Suspected murderer Brian Laundrie was killed Thursday night by US special forces while hiding out at his compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, President Biden announced in a special address to the nation. Laundrie, who was believed to be behind the death of girlfriend Gabby Petito, had somehow managed to slip past American troops in Florida and make his way through the...
Calling the Iron Dome missile defense system an environmental nightmare, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is now recommending the US instead fund the carbon-neutral “recycled Bamboo Dome.” Her suggestion came in a long Instagram post defending her “present” vote on funding the Iron Dome. “A lot of people are like, ‘well you voted against building a dome over Israel to stop the...
Motivated by California Republicans’ failed effort to recall Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom, Afghans opposed to Taliban rule have launched their own recall petition to throw the Islamist group out of office. The petition already has more than 30 million signatures, including every woman in the country. While Taliban rule has been met with opposition since the militant group took over...
The Israel Prison Service is facing tough questions over its decision to hire the guards tasked with monitoring Jeffrey Epstein to protect six Palestinian prisoners. The guards, Tova Noel and Michael Thomas, had been assigned to protect Epstein when the financier and convicted sex offender was found dead in his cell in August 2019. Speaking on the condition of anonymity,...
Comedian and satirist Norm Macdonald, who sadly passed away Tuesday night, is looking to put off his entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven, asking God to first let him spend ten minutes or so in Hell so he can “make [Osama] bin Laden cry like a little bitch.” “I wrote like 100 pages of killer material about that piece of...
Taliban leader Abdul Ghani Baradar has received both praise and accusations of hypocrisy after photos emerged of the militant wearing a “Death to the West” tuxedo while appearing at the star-studded Met Gala in New York City. Baradar, who flew in for the event on a UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter, used the $35,000-per-ticket celebration to rail against America’s materialistic capitalism....
Former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu began the Jewish New Year in the hospital after attempting to take 5782 shots of liquor – one for each year in the Jewish calendar – in a Rosh Hashanah celebration that soon spun out of control. The former premier – who recently lost his grip on power to the ‘Coalition of Change’ –...
Hopes that the Taliban would show a gentler, less evil face their second time in power were dashed Wednesday, as the Afghan militant group appointed alleged murderer and Tiger King star Carole Baskin to lead the military. Baskin, who is suspected of killing her husband and feeding him to tigers in 1997, said she will show mercy to resistance fighters...
Seeking to deflect blame for the disastrous US withdrawal from Afghanistan, President Joe Biden now says he had taken the sleeping aid Ambien before planning the hasty withdrawal from the country. “I’m not heartless, just an idiot,” Biden tweeted. “I mixed up my pills before meeting with the generals about Afghanistan and took Ambien instead of my Donepezil. By the...
Taliban rule in Afghanistan may soon be coming to an end, as the Afghan House of Representatives has voted to impeach the terror group over a phone call its leader made to Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky. The impeachment inquiry was launched after a transcript of a call between Zelensky and Taliban leader Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar was leaked to the...
In a sign of the Islamist militant group’s growing stature, the Taliban will meet this week with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to discuss methods of torturing and killing political opponents. With the Taliban now in control of nearly all of Afghanistan, Erdogan said that the time had come to treat the group with the respect it deserves as an...
In a dramatic reversal of fortunes, the Taliban regime in Afghanistan has collapsed after Taliban leader Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar fell to his death while attempting the “Milk Crate Challenge” now popular on TikTok. Baradar announced plans to attempt the challenge, which involves climbing a pyramid of stacked milk crates, after triumphantly entering Kabul following the Taliban’s capture of the...
In a stunning turnaround, President Joe Biden is now ordering US forces to re-invade Afghanistan and overthrow the Taliban after the terror group announced its withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accords. Biden previously stood behind his decision to withdraw from the country even as chaos unfolding in Kabul led his approval ratings to nosedive. But on Monday, the Taliban announced...
Declaring it a sacred tradition his country is proud to inherit, Chinese President Xi Jinping announced Friday his military is preparing for an invasion and a minimum decade-long occupation of Afghanistan. The announcement came after President Biden announced a full troop withdrawal and an end to the U.S.’s “forever war” in the country last month. “As a rising superpower, we...
TEHRAN — Iran’s Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei vigorously denied pulling out of Nuclear Talks with the US after being disinvited to former President Barack Obama’s 60th birthday party on Martha’s Vineyard. “That had nothing to do with it,” fumed the fiery spiritual leader, still wearing his ‘Shi’ite Chic’ chocolate chiffon robe and a turban festooned with images of a smiling...
Due to Hamas fanning the flames among Palestinians that the Al-Aqsa Mosque, and the whole of Jerusalem, is in danger of being the Judaized by the “fake Jew Zionists”, Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett announced that plans to convert the mosque into a Katz’s Delicatessen have been suspended indefinitely. “After a number of terrorists said their sole reason for firing...
Israeli artistic gymnast Artem Dolgopyat made history with his Olympic gold-medal performance Sunday, becoming the first Jew in a decade-and-a-half to win any sports competition at any level. Since windsurfer Gal Friedman’s victory at the 2004 Olympics in Athens, no Jewish man or woman, in Israel or the diaspora, had bested any gentile in any sport, according to records tracking...
