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All Republicans Support Infra Bill After Learning that ‘Bombing Middle East’ Considered Infrastructure

US military strike in Syria

President Joe Biden’s bipartisan infrastructure bill has successfully passed a major obstacle as a result of a sudden and unexpected move: every single last Republican has thrown its support behind the infra package. The Mideast Beast has learned that it was the specific clarification that “bombing the shit out of Arab countries” will be included in Biden’s expansive definition of infrastructure that solidified the support of every single Republican senator.

Republicans initially vowed to oppose the proposal, around $1 trillion, arguing that it included mostly non-infrastructure spending. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand’s reinforced this perception when she tweeted that, “Paid leave is infrastructure. Childcare is infrastructure. Caregiving is infrastructure.”

But Republican opposition melted away when the White House clarified that infrastructure included more than just progressive priorities.

“Bombing suspected weapons sites is infrastructure. Invading oil rich Arab nations is infrastructure,” Biden tweeted. “Launching a military intervention in a Middle Eastern country with no clear objective or exit strategy and little understanding of the local sectarian dynamics is infrastructure.”

In a press conference on Wednesday, White House spokeswoman Jen Psaki defended including military action under the infrastructure umbrella.

“The President wants to build infrastructure that is the envy of the world,” Psaki explained. “There are two components to this mission. We must rebuild our own roads and bridges, but we must also destroy those in every other country. You see, we do know how to work with our Republican colleagues.”

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