Israel

UN Accuses Israel of Committing Genocide Against Coronavirus
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UN Accuses Israel of Committing Genocide Against Coronavirus

With Israel leading the world in coronavirus vaccination rates, the United Nations General Assembly has passed a resolution condemning Israel for its ongoing genocide against COVID-19 virions. “The illegal apartheid state of ‘Israel’ is once again committing crimes against humanity, ethnically cleansing innocent coronavirus particles from their homes in the human body,” the resolution states. “We call on the occupation...

United Arab List Leader Agrees to Support Netanyahu If He Admits Falafel Not an ‘Israeli’ Food
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United Arab List Leader Agrees to Support Netanyahu If He Admits Falafel Not an ‘Israeli’ Food

Mansour Abbas, the leader of the United Arab List, an Islamist, and now a potential kingmaker in the coalition-building process, has agreed to support Prime Minister Benjamin ‘Bibi’ Netanyahu under one condition: Netanyahu must publicly acknowledge that neither falafel or hummus are ‘Israeli’ foods. Abbas says he will support whichever candidate is willing to stand in front of the Knesset...

Year After Nuclear-Smallpox-Mustard Gas Asteroid Hits Earth, Netanyahu Still Prime Minister
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Year After Nuclear-Smallpox-Mustard Gas Asteroid Hits Earth, Netanyahu Still Prime Minister

*Updated 24 March 2021   Following last year’s impact of an asteroid comprised of weapons-grade uranium infused with mustard gas and smallpox, it seemed that everything in the world changed overnight. As the world emerges from the ashes there seems to be only one relic of history still in place – Benjamin ‘Bibi’ Netanyahu remains Israel’s Prime Minister. According to...

Facebook Weighing Ban on Anything Related to Israel-Palestine Conflict
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Facebook Weighing Ban on Anything Related to Israel-Palestine Conflict

Citing server problems and widespread user ignorance, Facebook Tsar Mark Zuckerberg is reportedly contemplating a ‘total ban’ on anything related to the polarizing Israeli-Palestinian Conflict. “Look, I’m a billionaire genius and I didn’t build this social media platform for Israelis and Palestinians to hate-post or upload fake news as if they’re all suffering from OCD, and certainly not for a bunch...

AOC Cancels Event Honoring Arafat After Learning he Visited Israel
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AOC Cancels Event Honoring Arafat After Learning he Visited Israel

The Mideast Beast has learned that New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez backed out of an event honoring former Palestinian Liberation Organization chairman Yasser Arafat after one of the representative’s Twitter followers pointed out that Arafat had visited and negotiated with Israel. Ocasio-Cortez was set to attend Jewish Voice for Peace’s Yom Kippur brunch, which will be held on Monday to...

Israeli Scientists Pioneering New Jetpack that Doesn’t Just Leave Your Stupid Legs Dangling
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Israeli Scientists Pioneering New Jetpack that Doesn’t Just Leave Your Stupid Legs Dangling

HAIFA- Engineers at the Technion (Israel Institute of Technology), have announced their intention to solve one of the greatest hurdles to everyday travel by jetpack.  With the popularity of Iron Man and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, an increasing number of individuals and companies have attempted to build working jetpacks.  But regardless of their fuel efficiency, potential speed, or likelihood of...

Israel Approves Housing Settlement in Chicago’s South Side
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Israel Approves Housing Settlement in Chicago’s South Side

In a move it insists is not aimed at antagonizing President Obama, nor the recent “massive spike in violence”, the Israeli government has approved 400 new settlement units in South Chicago. Those settlements will span Obama’s home and the neighborhoods in which the president once worked as a community organizer. Several public housing apartment buildings in Chicago’s Roseland and West...