In 1949, the United Nations became concerned with the low numbers of Palestinian refugees following the first Arab-Israeli War. In response, the UN quickly declared Palestinian refugees to be an endangered species and organized a commission, The United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East, or UNRWA, to foster the growth of the failing population....
In yet another controversial move that critics say undermines the country’s sovereignty, US President Joe Biden, for a second time this week, has invited the United Nations to bring experts into the country to assess “falafel injustice.” Despite objections from Republicans, UN culinary expects will visit the country to examine the quality of America’s chickpea-based offerings and to ensure that...
Middle Eastern human rights advocates, such as Syria’s self-declared pacifist leader Bashar Assad, Hezbollah drag queens, and Yemeni feminist jihadists celebrated the UN Human Right Council’s decision to create a permanent fact-finding mission to probe alleged Israeli war crimes worldwide such as “chicken soup addiction.” The progressive human rights organization Woke Ayatollahs against Zionist Nukes also demanded a probe into...
In a shocking twist to the 2021 Israel-Gaza War, Mattias Schmale, the Director of the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) in Gaza told reporters that he believes the IDF “struck targets with ‘sophistication’ and ‘precision’.” Unsurprisingly, anger was widespread and condemnation was quick. Hamas, who has (literally) worked for UNRWA, as well as having used UNRWA schools from...
The United Nations General Assembly issued a resolution Tuesday condemning Israeli farmers for damaging Palestinian incendiary balloons (or ‘terror balloons’), which Gazan militants have been sending over the border – along with the occasional rocket salvo – into southern Israel, causing millions of dollars in damages to Israel’s agricultural economy. According to the United Nations, the balloons are sometimes damaged...
The United Nations has come out in defense of Hamas, saying that the governing militant group cannot be held responsible for the recent rocket-fire hitting southern Israel since the group’s fighters were on ambien when they fired them. “While we condemned Israel’s unprovoked attacks against Palestinian protesters yesterday, Hamas must be excused for firing rockets into Israeli neighborhoods and kindergartens,”...
A delegation representing the Palestinian Authority has appeared before UN leadership requesting the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict to be renamed. As PA representative Mahmoud Said told the UN, “For too long, we’ve been told that we don’t deserve top billing in this conflict. For too long, our children have grown up in a world where they are billed second to the Zionists....
“We just wanted to see if we could”, was the explanation given earlier today by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, as it passed yet another resolution claiming a bagel store in West Jerusalem as a Palestinian heritage site. UNESCO has come under heavy fire over the past year for a number of resolutions that deny a historical...
“Why does Israel get all of the UN’s attention?” That’s the question Syrian officials have been asking lately. “Would it kill the UN Security Council to pass a few resolutions our way? There are more UN resolutions against Israel than against North Korea, Iraq, and us combined. I mean, come on! We’ve killed 10 times more people in three years...
The United Nations Security Council (UNSC) passed a resolution earlier today stating that any and all Israeli military action constitutes war crimes. What separates this resolution from the overwhelming number of resolutions already condemning the Jewish State is that it appears to be all encompassing. “In case anyone hasn’t noticed, we just waste so much of our time singling out...
The Islamic Republic of Iran has filed a draft resolution in favor of removing the ‘question mark’ from all official UN documents. “We feel good about our chances,” Iran’s Deputy Foreign Minister Babak Zardooz was quoted as saying. “If the Western powers are forced to stop asking questions, Iran will gladly sign a framework agreement pertaining to our completely civilian nuclear program,”...
The United Nations has finally found a successor to Richard Falk for the position of Special Rapporteur for the Palestinian territories, naming actor and director Mel Gibson to the post. “When Richard left the position, we never thought we’d be able to fill his shoes,” a UN source explained to The Israeli Daily. “The guy thinks 9/11 was an inside...
In response to the ongoing series of protests and civil disorder the United Nations has drafted a resolution acknowledging the sovereignty of Ferguson, Missouri. “We used to kick ass and take names. But over the last few months, the United Nations has become like the smart, quiet chick in high school. Lots to say but no one’s listening since she’s not screwing...
