Journalism has been in Roger Pumper’s blood since he began his first paper route in Kabul, Afghanistan, at the age of seven. After graduating from Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with a Doctorate in Animal Husbandry, Pumper worked as a fact-checker for Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly. Pumper was awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2002 for his investigative reporting on Iraq’s WMD program, though the award was later revoked. Pumper currently resides on a goat farm outside Kirachi, Pakistan.
A week after apologizing for comparing mask requirements to the Holocaust, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene now says that Jews in concentration camps were lucky to be able to spend their days unmasked. “Even Hitler was not as cruel as our current Fuhrer, Speaker Pelosi,” Greene tweeted late Sunday. “The Jews might have been gassed to death, but at least they...
With Rep. Ilhan Omar comparing the Islamist terror group to America and Congresswomen Rashida Tlaib and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez also strongly siding against Israel during the recent conflict, Hamas leaders are reportedly confused as to why only losers seem to like them. “I mean, it’s kind of amazing that anyone in America supports us, given how insane our charter is and...
While Israel’s Iron Dome shot down thousands of rockets headed for Israeli cities last month during Operation Guardian of the Walls, Democrats in Congress are proposing a less violent way for the Jewish state to stop the rocket fire from Gaza. Legislation proposed by a group of far-Left Democrats would end US funding for Iron Dome and replace it with...
Facing criticism from within her own party after comparing the US and Israel to Hamas and the Taliban, Rep. Ilhan Omar clarified that the comments were meant as a compliment of America and its ally. “I was trying to point out how much progress both the US and Israel have made,” the Minnesota Democrat told The Mideast Beast. “Hamas and...
The New York Times has won yet another Pulitzer for a retracted story, this time for a mistakenly published report that watermelons found on Mars were planted by a growing population of fruit aliens. The Times pulled down the story within an hour, saying that the post was part of an internal online test that was inadvertently published. But that...
Yet again tensions are flaring between Israelis and Palestinians in Jerusalem, as Hamas threatens the annual Israeli Right flag march – as if 2020 and the 11-day war wasn’t enough of a fail – God once again urged both Jews and Muslims to resist pressure to compromise and said both religious groups should “fight to the last drop of blood”...
Just months after the US House of Representatives voted to bar Greene from the House Committee on Education and Labor, Hamas, the Islamist militant group in charge of governing the Gaza Strip, announced that it has invited her to chair its education committee, only weeks after an 11-day war with Israel. “Frankly, we were incredibly impressed by the depth of...
Actress Ellie Kemper is once again apologizing for her youthful indiscretion after it emerged that the star appeared in Al Qaeda’s 1999 ‘Queen of the Jihad’ debutante ball. Kemper, known for her roles in Bridesmaids, The Office, and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, said she knew little about the terror group when she participated in the pageant. “All I knew was...
Looking to escape Republican attempts to end democracy through restrictive voting laws, a growing number of prominent Democrats have fled the US and claimed asylum in the Middle East. Stacey Abrams, a former Georgia gubernatorial candidate who was kept out of office in a coup d’etat, recently arrived in Egypt where she claimed refugee status due to a new Georgia...
In a statement of support for the anti-Israel BDS movement, porn star Mia Khalifa said that she will no longer allow more than six or seven Israeli soldiers to gang bang her in any future adult videos. “No matter how much anyone pays me, I will never again be octuple-teamed by greased-up IDF commandos until Palestine is free!” she exclaimed....
After dominating the sneaker business for decades, athletic apparel firm Nike announced that it will stop making footwear after spokesman and former 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick insisted that shoes are a symbol of racism and slavery. Nike had just announced the launch of its latest basketball shoe, which it planned to sell for $199 a pair, when Kaepernick insisted in...
Calling it the hottest real estate on the planet, former US president Donald Trump said that he plans to build a new Trump Tower high-rise in East Jerusalem’s Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood. Trump said that he decided to buy the prime real estate after hearing that Jews and Arabs were fighting on the streets for control of a four-family house in...
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has inked yet another major book deal, this one for an upcoming title called ‘Lessons in Courtship: How to Find Love in the Intern Lounge at the Governor’s Mansion.’ The book will recount Cuomo’s great success in charming his staffers and winning their romantic affections without creating a hostile workplace. “For those looking to run...
Press TV, Iran’s state-run media arm, looks to be the big winner at next month’s 2021 Pulitzer Prize award ceremony, with multiple honors for its coverage of the 2021 Israel-Gaza War. The award for investigative reporting is set to go to the network for its account of Israel’s attempt to take down a commercial airplane leaving Gaza City by releasing...
Following its decision to remove the Islamist militant group Hamas from its list of terrorist organizations, a top court of the European Union will now meet to decide what to call the aerial projectiles launched from the Gaza Strip at Israeli cities. While Sweden has proposed calling the projectiles, previously known as missiles or rockets, ‘aeronautic modern art,’ Spain has suggested they...
Ready to finally emerge after 17 years underground, Brood X cicadas are excited to finally learn how the longstanding conflict between Jews and Muslims in the Middle East turned out. “When we last went underground in 2004, things were lit between the Israelis and Palestinians, literally,” one Brood X cicada told The Mideast Beast. “We were really sorry to just...
Accusing Israel’s missile defense system of unprovoked aggression, CNN has come out against Iron Dome’s violent attacks on “mostly peaceful rockets” fired by Hamas from the Gaza Strip. Noting that the vast majority of the hundreds of rockets launched at Israeli towns and cities landed uneventfully in empty fields, CNN anchor Don Lemon pointed out that the Iron Dome batteries...
Looking to appease cast members traumatized by Tesla CEO Elon Musk’s appearance as guest host, Saturday Night Live has invited former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to host next week’s episode. The actors had demanded SNL producer Lorne Michaels bring on a committed progressive to make up for bringing Musk, who has refused to list his preferred pronouns in his Twitter...
With Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu failing to form his right-wing government, former Georgia state legislator Stacey Abrams has declared herself the new premiere and has started to form her cabinet. Abrams, who was not on any ballot and has never been to Israel, insisted that she would have been unanimously elected if not for blatant voter suppression. “These Israelis...
Following President Biden’s recognition and condemnation of the 100-year-old genocide, former US President Donald Trump took to the internet to insist that there were “good people on both sides” of the Armenian genocide. “Listen, there were some very good Ottomans and there were some very bad Ottomans, believe me,” Trump wrote on his new website. “Not all the Ottomans who...
