Entertainment

President Trump May Join TMB Writing Team

President Trump May Join TMB Writing Team

Estimates that Trump will have made a record 2000 false claims during his first year as POTUS have prompted the editors of The Mideast Beast to offer him a part-time position on TMB’s writing team. According to Reuters, Trump was the ultimate source of fake news this past year, and consequently should be targeting himself in his attempts to eliminate fake news sources. Analyses have shown that during 2017 Trump invented more facts about Middle Eastern affairs than the entire...

James Zogby Blasts Iranian Protestors for Distracting Attention from Rachael Ray’s ‘Genocide’

James Zogby Blasts Iranian Protestors for Distracting Attention from Rachael Ray’s ‘Genocide’

Calling demonstrators taking to the street against the Iranian regime “whiny prima donnas,” Arab American Institute President James Zogby demanded protests end so attention could turn back to chef Rachael Ray’s culinary tweets. “Instead of complaining about 38 years of corrupt, theocratic rule by dictators who use murder, rape and torture to silence dissidents, these Iranian snowflakes need to let us focus on the real issues,” said Zogby. “Rachael Ray called hummus ‘Israeli.’ I mean, that is a true genocide.”...

I Selfie You to Death!

I Selfie You to Death!

This week on TMB’s podcast – When did beauty pageants become about checkmate, and chess tournaments become a fashion show? If a picture is worth a thousand words, the selfie of Miss Iraq and Miss Israel, would be death, fatwa die, repeat. With Miss Iraq’s family fleeing their home after the controversial picture, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles ask if Miss Iraq is brave, naive, or just living under a rock. They also discuss a controversy that hasn’t made...

There Are Arabs in the Mall and They Are… Shopping

There Are Arabs in the Mall and They Are… Shopping

First came the Trump declaration of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, then came war, bloodshed, and even a tsunami. At least that’s what the headlines wanted us to believe. What’s really happening in the city? On this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone gives her first-hand account of life after declaration. You probably won’t hear this anywhere else, so you’ll want to listen in. Host Alex Giles also shares his thoughts on the news and a bit...

Israeli and Palestinian Officials Re-enact ‘The Hangover’ Movies for Peacebuilding Initiative

Israeli and Palestinian Officials Re-enact ‘The Hangover’ Movies for Peacebuilding Initiative

Israeli and Palestinian officials are undertaking new peacebuilding exercises modeled on The Hangover movies as part of a initiative to restart peace talks. “Camp David didn’t produce the breakthrough we wanted. So, we’ve ditched the presidential country retreat and opted for some epic action in Vegas and Bangkok instead. At least when these efforts spectacularly backfire we’ll have had a proper vacation out of it”, said one Israeli official behind the initiative. One commentator has termed the initiative “wildly racist,...

Jew vs. Jew, Who Woulda Thunk It?

Jew vs. Jew, Who Woulda Thunk It?

On this week’s Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone speaks with a secular Jew living in Jerusalem about the recent outbreak of fights between the religious and nonreligious communities. Forget “two Jews, three opinions”; this is an all-out battle, with fighting in the streets, protests, and breaking the law. Listen in to hear a completely different view of the Middle East in which peace has nothing to do with Israelis and Palestinians, but rather just trying to figure out how...

ISIS Leader on Matt Lauer’s Firing: Seriously, What the Fuck Is Wrong with You People?

ISIS Leader on Matt Lauer’s Firing: Seriously, What the Fuck Is Wrong with You People?

In an interview with The Mideast Beast, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi reacted with shock at the sudden firing of the Today Show anchor Matt Lauer, after allegations of sexual harassment surfaced from multiple employees. Details have emerged that the beloved balding morning show host gave a sex toy to a co-worker as a present along with an illicit note, as well as having a button under his desk that automatically locked his office doors. The leader of the international...

No # For Egypt – New TMB Podcast

No # For Egypt – New TMB Podcast

If there’s no hashtag, then did it really happen? Hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles discuss the recent terrorist attack in Egypt that killed over 300 worshipers, asking what the attack means for the region and what it means if no one is tweeting about it. Does the world care more about a royal wedding, or are Alex and Molly just being pessimists? Listen and share your thoughts, or at least a hashtag. The Mideast Beast podcasts are now available...

ISIS to Suspend UK Attacks to Honor Prince Harry’s Engagement

ISIS to Suspend UK Attacks to Honor Prince Harry’s Engagement

ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has revealed that his organization will suspend all planned attacks on the UK to honor Prince Harry’s engagement to his new fiancée , American actress Meghan Markle. “Monarchy is so irrational, but I can’t help but buy into it. The castles, the crowns, the princesses. I just love it. When it comes to the British royal family, we’re fan-boys,” al-Baghdadi giggled. “Maybe it’s because it reminds us of absolutism,” he pondered. “I sent them a...

Whip It Out, Part II: That’s Not What She Said

Whip It Out, Part II: That’s Not What She Said

On this week’s Mideast Beast Podcast, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles continue the discussion of sexual assault and rape, unfortunately, as more men are accused of doing just that. And while the Middle East is normally used to war, how is the explosion of #MeToo, unwanted advances, and general deviant behavior affecting the male population? It’s not Iran’s nuclear threat, yet from generals to TV exec prowlers, are any of us safe? Take Cover and Keep Listening. The Mideast...

TMB Writers Increasingly Frustrated by Competition from Reality

TMB Writers Increasingly Frustrated by Competition from Reality

Reporters from The Mideast Beast have reported that they find it increasingly difficult to satirize current events given how insane everything has become. One writer explained, “How the hell are we supposed to compete with reality? I mean, it’s reaching batshit crazy level. I watch CNN and President Trump is getting into a Twitter war with Kim Jong Un, while his whole election team is getting done for conspiracy with the Russian government over Facebook advertisements. Like what the fuck!...

“Whip It Out – Hollywood Rules and Sharia Law.” New TMB Podcast!

“Whip It Out – Hollywood Rules and Sharia Law.” New TMB Podcast!

Can we justify sexual misconduct and rape? In Hollywood, if you ask to whip it out, does it make it OK? And in the Middle East, does Sharia law give men the power to rape? They may be worlds apart (or at least different countries), but how similar are we when it comes to the treatment of women and harassment? On this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles discuss the rules, the rapes,...

Shiite Muslims Blast Taylor Swift Over Silence on Caliphal Succession

Shiite Muslims Blast Taylor Swift Over Silence on Caliphal Succession

Demanding that the popular country-pop star pick a side, Shiite activists are increasingly calling out Taylor Swift over her silence regarding the rightful succession to the Prophet Muhammad. “Tay Tay never misses a chance to rip Kim and Kanye, but when it comes to Yazid’s murder of Husayn ibn Ali at the Battle of Karbala, all we hear are crickets,” wrote one Shiite magazine contributor. “Taylor is not obligated to be vocal about Middle Eastern sectarian disputes, but her silence...

Maybe We Should Just Sex It Out…

Maybe We Should Just Sex It Out…

On this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone speaks with matchmaker Jessica Fass of Fass Pass To Love, to find out if the Middle East countries are really a match. Perhaps the politicians have it all wrong, and it’s more about rules of dating, wooing, and even a little sexting that will give peace a chance. From first base to pulling out, here are the dating tips that might just win a Nobel Peace Prize. The...

New TMB Podcast: “‘Sportsmanshipping’: Molly Makes Up a New Word for an Old Problem”

New TMB Podcast: “‘Sportsmanshipping’: Molly Makes Up a New Word for an Old Problem”

Does everyone really need a present to show appreciation? And does everyone really need to be present at a sports arena? On this week’s Mideast Beast Podcast, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles present (pun intended) you with the many dilemmas of the Middle East. Together they discuss the UNESCO swag snub, Saudi Arabia’s latest liberal move to allow women at sporting events, and the behind the scenes look at Molly’s candid interview with Palestinian refugee, Ali. The Mideast Beast...

So A Palestinian Refugee and a Terrorist Survivor Walk Through The Door…

So A Palestinian Refugee and a Terrorist Survivor Walk Through The Door…

If you survived a vicious terrorist attack, would you befriend the enemy? Would you let him into your house, your thoughts, and your vision for the future? Survivor Kay Wilson is on a mission to bring together human beings, so yeah, she does that. Host Molly Livingstone has a very intimate interview with Kay and one of her frenemies, “Ali,” a Palestinian refugee. Together they talk about hate, victims, martyrs, and awkward moments (or does Molly just create awkward moments?)...

Gordon Ramsay Enlists MasterChef Contestants to Cook for Palestinian Prisoners

Gordon Ramsay Enlists MasterChef Contestants to Cook for Palestinian Prisoners

On the upcoming season of MasterChef, world-renowned chef, Gordon Ramsay has decided to take his contestants to Israel, in order win over the hearts and stomachs of hunger-striking Palestinian prisoners. “Is it really a hunger strike, if you’re being served rubbish? If they refused to eat my food, that would show some commitment.” Ramsay said, regarding his decision to film the episode. While the episode has yet to air, TMB was able to obtain some sneak peaks. In one clip,...

ISIS Leader Alleges: “Harvey Weinstein Touched Me”

ISIS Leader Alleges: “Harvey Weinstein Touched Me”

In an exclusive interview with The Mideast Beast, a tearful Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of ISIS, has allegedly claimed that Harvey Weinstein touched him inappropriately. This comes amidst a new wave of accusations against the powerful Hollywood producer. The account provided by al-Baghdadi was harrowing: “He invited me into his office to talk about a biopic of my life. He was very charming and offered me lunch. Next thing I know his fingers were all over me, in places...

New TMB Podcast! “Verbal Diarrhea – Trying to Understand the Iran Plan”

New TMB Podcast! “Verbal Diarrhea – Trying to Understand the Iran Plan”

With Trump dumping the “Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action” signed by Obama in 2015, hosts Alex Giles and Molly Livingstone try to figure out what exactly is comprehensive about it. Will Iran build a nuke? Are we watching the biggest reality show starring realist world leaders? Is it worth a Nobel Peace Prize, or is it nothing more than a deal with the Devil? Get out your biggest bottle of Pepto-Bismol ’cause we are about to give you a big...

Muslims Building Kosher Sukkahs, and a Hurricane Refugee in Israel – WTF?! (New Podcast)

Muslims Building Kosher Sukkahs, and a Hurricane Refugee in Israel – WTF?! (New Podcast)

It’s not a sitcom yet, but how’s this for a podcast topic: a couple of Muslims build a sukkah (that’s for the Jewish holiday of Sukkot) to welcome a bit of coexistence, food, and just plain old good conversation. Where will it lead? Well, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles have their own ideas and overshare them in this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast. Later in the show, Molly interviews Hurricane Irma survivor Kenny Whitmire about his choice...