Entertainment
Somewhere Over the Armageddon Rainbow… #FierceFierce
In this week’s Mideast Beast podcast, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles break down Vice President Pence’s recent visit to Israel, and almost have their own breakdown as they uncover the truth behind Evangelical Christians, peace plans, and streets named Penis. Alex tries to come up with his own plans, but is so fearful of what’s to come (and his Christmas Cake addiction frankly doesn’t help), he is actually at a loss for words and can only manage to shout...
Uber Cool: Women Drivers in Saudi Arabia
How’s this for some good news in the Middle East: Saudi Arabia will allow women to take the front seat and become shared-ride drivers (never mind that they can’t drive at night, can’t take men, and make almost no money). In this week’s episode, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles discuss this whole new world, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (you need to listen to understand why), and a bit of a chat on the #MeToo Movement’s destroying journalism everywhere. The...
ISIS Further Decimated by ‘Tide Pod Challenge’
Already reeling after losing nearly all its territory in clashes with Iraqi forces, ISIS has been dealt another blow after half the terror group’s soldiers died attempting the “Tide Pod Challenge.” The devastation struck after a group of young jihadis were killing time on patrol in the town of Abu Kamel, Syria and came across a video issuing the challenge – to eat pods filled with Tide laundry detergent – on YouTube. Insisting that they were much braver than any...
Dave Matthews Immigrates to Israel
TEL AVIV — In a surprise move, legendary musician Dave Matthews has decided to immigrate to Israel. In an interview with Yonit Levy, the musician said, “This was a difficult choice for me, but this seems like the right time to be with my people.” Mr. Matthews will move to Tel Aviv by year’s end. Mr. Matthew’s publicist elaborated on the decision to The Mideast Beast. “It’s time that Dave returns to where he feels most comfortable. Cut off jean...
The Rebel Rabbi & The Long Awaited Israeli Spring
On this week’s edition of The Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone is joined by the Rebel Rabbi Chuck Davidson, who continues his controversial battle against the Israeli Chief Rabbinate dictating Jewish law when it comes to birth, marriage, divorce, and death. This Orthodox rabbi discusses his intent to destroy the rabbinical courts’ monopoly, perform illegal marriages, and his hope to finally be arrested for his crimes. His message is clear and in this episode he is talking to you,...
President Trump May Join TMB Writing Team
Estimates that Trump will have made a record 2000 false claims during his first year as POTUS have prompted the editors of The Mideast Beast to offer him a part-time position on TMB’s writing team. According to Reuters, Trump was the ultimate source of fake news this past year, and consequently should be targeting himself in his attempts to eliminate fake news sources. Analyses have shown that during 2017 Trump invented more facts about Middle Eastern affairs than the entire...
James Zogby Blasts Iranian Protestors for Distracting Attention from Rachael Ray’s ‘Genocide’
Calling demonstrators taking to the street against the Iranian regime “whiny prima donnas,” Arab American Institute President James Zogby demanded protests end so attention could turn back to chef Rachael Ray’s culinary tweets. “Instead of complaining about 38 years of corrupt, theocratic rule by dictators who use murder, rape and torture to silence dissidents, these Iranian snowflakes need to let us focus on the real issues,” said Zogby. “Rachael Ray called hummus ‘Israeli.’ I mean, that is a true genocide.”...
I Selfie You to Death!
This week on TMB’s podcast – When did beauty pageants become about checkmate, and chess tournaments become a fashion show? If a picture is worth a thousand words, the selfie of Miss Iraq and Miss Israel, would be death, fatwa die, repeat. With Miss Iraq’s family fleeing their home after the controversial picture, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles ask if Miss Iraq is brave, naive, or just living under a rock. They also discuss a controversy that hasn’t made...
There Are Arabs in the Mall and They Are… Shopping
First came the Trump declaration of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital, then came war, bloodshed, and even a tsunami. At least that’s what the headlines wanted us to believe. What’s really happening in the city? On this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone gives her first-hand account of life after declaration. You probably won’t hear this anywhere else, so you’ll want to listen in. Host Alex Giles also shares his thoughts on the news and a bit...
Israeli and Palestinian Officials Re-enact ‘The Hangover’ Movies for Peacebuilding Initiative
Israeli and Palestinian officials are undertaking new peacebuilding exercises modeled on The Hangover movies as part of a initiative to restart peace talks. “Camp David didn’t produce the breakthrough we wanted. So, we’ve ditched the presidential country retreat and opted for some epic action in Vegas and Bangkok instead. At least when these efforts spectacularly backfire we’ll have had a proper vacation out of it”, said one Israeli official behind the initiative. One commentator has termed the initiative “wildly racist,...
Jew vs. Jew, Who Woulda Thunk It?
On this week’s Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone speaks with a secular Jew living in Jerusalem about the recent outbreak of fights between the religious and nonreligious communities. Forget “two Jews, three opinions”; this is an all-out battle, with fighting in the streets, protests, and breaking the law. Listen in to hear a completely different view of the Middle East in which peace has nothing to do with Israelis and Palestinians, but rather just trying to figure out how...
“Fifty Shades of Jihad”: Al Qaeda Releases New Battle Manual at Book Launch
In an attempt to regain some of the attention which has dissipated to ISIS in recent years, Al Qaeda is set to publish a provocatively titled new fighting manual and will be hosting their first book launch next week. Entitled “Fifty Shades of Jihad”, the manual is marketed as a “guide for both the expert and the uninitiated in the world of radical Islamism” and is said to “encompass all the intricate and often sensual facets of Quranic-inspired terrorism”. A...
ISIS Leader on Matt Lauer’s Firing: Seriously, What the Fuck Is Wrong with You People?
In an interview with The Mideast Beast, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi reacted with shock at the sudden firing of the Today Show anchor Matt Lauer, after allegations of sexual harassment surfaced from multiple employees. Details have emerged that the beloved balding morning show host gave a sex toy to a co-worker as a present along with an illicit note, as well as having a button under his desk that automatically locked his office doors. The leader of the international...
No # For Egypt – New TMB Podcast
If there’s no hashtag, then did it really happen? Hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles discuss the recent terrorist attack in Egypt that killed over 300 worshipers, asking what the attack means for the region and what it means if no one is tweeting about it. Does the world care more about a royal wedding, or are Alex and Molly just being pessimists? Listen and share your thoughts, or at least a hashtag. The Mideast Beast podcasts are now available...
ISIS to Suspend UK Attacks to Honor Prince Harry’s Engagement
ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has revealed that his organization will suspend all planned attacks on the UK to honor Prince Harry’s engagement to his new fiancée , American actress Meghan Markle. “Monarchy is so irrational, but I can’t help but buy into it. The castles, the crowns, the princesses. I just love it. When it comes to the British royal family, we’re fan-boys,” al-Baghdadi giggled. “Maybe it’s because it reminds us of absolutism,” he pondered. “I sent them a...
Whip It Out, Part II: That’s Not What She Said
On this week’s Mideast Beast Podcast, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles continue the discussion of sexual assault and rape, unfortunately, as more men are accused of doing just that. And while the Middle East is normally used to war, how is the explosion of #MeToo, unwanted advances, and general deviant behavior affecting the male population? It’s not Iran’s nuclear threat, yet from generals to TV exec prowlers, are any of us safe? Take Cover and Keep Listening. The Mideast...
TMB Writers Increasingly Frustrated by Competition from Reality
Reporters from The Mideast Beast have reported that they find it increasingly difficult to satirize current events given how insane everything has become. One writer explained, “How the hell are we supposed to compete with reality? I mean, it’s reaching batshit crazy level. I watch CNN and President Trump is getting into a Twitter war with Kim Jong Un, while his whole election team is getting done for conspiracy with the Russian government over Facebook advertisements. Like what the fuck!...
“Whip It Out – Hollywood Rules and Sharia Law.” New TMB Podcast!
Can we justify sexual misconduct and rape? In Hollywood, if you ask to whip it out, does it make it OK? And in the Middle East, does Sharia law give men the power to rape? They may be worlds apart (or at least different countries), but how similar are we when it comes to the treatment of women and harassment? On this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast, hosts Molly Livingstone and Alex Giles discuss the rules, the rapes,...
Shiite Muslims Blast Taylor Swift Over Silence on Caliphal Succession
Demanding that the popular country-pop star pick a side, Shiite activists are increasingly calling out Taylor Swift over her silence regarding the rightful succession to the Prophet Muhammad. “Tay Tay never misses a chance to rip Kim and Kanye, but when it comes to Yazid’s murder of Husayn ibn Ali at the Battle of Karbala, all we hear are crickets,” wrote one Shiite magazine contributor. “Taylor is not obligated to be vocal about Middle Eastern sectarian disputes, but her silence...
Maybe We Should Just Sex It Out…
On this week’s episode of The Mideast Beast Podcast, host Molly Livingstone speaks with matchmaker Jessica Fass of Fass Pass To Love, to find out if the Middle East countries are really a match. Perhaps the politicians have it all wrong, and it’s more about rules of dating, wooing, and even a little sexting that will give peace a chance. From first base to pulling out, here are the dating tips that might just win a Nobel Peace Prize. The...