Entertainment

Stepping up his attacks on the World Health Organization, US President Donald Trump has banned Roger Daltrey, the front man for the British rock band The Who, from entering the country. “The WHO is totally doing the bidding of China and has been very unfair to me, and a lot of people are telling me that this Roger guy is...

In the US, Americans are demanding that they be allowed to go back to worshiping in churches, and in Israel, the Chief Rabbi is demanding that synagogues and other religious institutions be opened. Everyone is ready to get back to religious observance except for one important figure: God The Almighty One, blessed be He says that he is just not...

Inspired by comedian Joe Rogan’s $100 million deal with Spotify, Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad says he will resign his position as president to focus on launching a news and culture podcast. It is not clear what will happen when Assad, whose efforts to cling to power have left to more than half a million dead, exits politics, as the strongman...

Actor and director Mel Gibson announced that she has transitioned and now identifies as a woman, a move that came a day before Gibson declared her candidacy in the controversial “Miss Hitler 2020” pageant. “I’ve always kept the real me buried deep inside, but it’s time to stop hiding and let my spirit shine,” said Gibson, who will now go...

The International Criminal Court (ICC) accuses Israel of “brutally killing Pallywood’s movie star Mohamed al-Duracell three times.” ICC Chief Prosecutor Fatou Bensouda spoke to The Mideast Beast while finalizing the conclusions of the slightly predetermined probe concerning Israeli crimes. “Killing someone three times is a very serious crime that the ICC does not take lightly. Our human rights loving Saudi...

Celebrities on coronavirus lockdown are proposing that the world “take a week of quarantine” every year to commemorate the “scary and unsettling” time they went through and the unique insights it has given them. “I think that everyone should take a week of quarantine every year just to remember this time,” said British actor Idris Elba, who said he and his wife...

While the Paris fashion weeks were recently cancelled due to the pandemic, ISIS fashion week, which took place in a Syrian prison, proudly unveiled a trendy COVID-19 resistant unisex burka. ISIS’ chief fashion designer Mohammed Saladin who was educated at the prestigious New York Liberal Fashion School for Inclusive Oppression, enthusiastically spoke to The Mideast Beast about his innovative virus-resistant...

Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei has issued a fatwa, or religious decree, against American animal rights activist Carole Baskin, accusing the big cat enthusiast of killing her husband. “The Quran and many hadiths warn explicitly not to feed your husband to a herd of tigers,” Khamenei exclaimed. “If that infidel Carole Baskin does not repent and accept Allah, I order...

Antonio Guterres, Secretary-General of the United Nations, delivered breaking news on Friday when he tweeted that Lady Gaga had found the time to talk to him recently about her recent work on peacemaking in the Middle East. “@ladygaga I am so touched that you are spending this moment in your bored #stayathome routine to try and bring peace to the...

Democratic Rep. Rashida Tlaib has demanded that the iTunes store refund her purchase of Lizzo’s new hit single “Juice” after the congresswoman discovered the singer is not saying “Blame it on the Jews.” Tlaib said she heard the popular song on the radio and rushed to purchase the single due to what she believed was its powerful message. “I thought...

The United States State Department has confirmed that Jared Kushner has taken on the trade negotiations with African superpower Wakanda. A spokesman stated, “Jared is clearly the best placed official to take on this challenge. After all he’s spent all of 2019 dealing with such fantastical places as ‘Palestine’, and the mind-bending concept of a ‘Two-State Solution’. I mean come...

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan has begun arresting reporters for People magazine on terrorism charges after the publication once again passed him over for its annual ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ award. Within minutes of the magazine awarding singer and EGOT winner John Legend the honor for 2019, Erdogan’s forces had hauled away dozens of journalists and staff members, calling them enemies...