Journalism has been in Roger Pumper’s blood since he began his first paper route in Kabul, Afghanistan, at the age of seven. After graduating from Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with a Doctorate in Animal Husbandry, Pumper worked as a fact-checker for Brian Williams and Bill O’Reilly. Pumper was awarded a Pulitzer Prize in 2002 for his investigative reporting on Iraq’s WMD program, though the award was later revoked. Pumper currently resides on a goat farm outside Kirachi, Pakistan.
The Islamic State terrorist group was sent fleeing Sunday when, after seven years of refusing to do so, President Barack Obama used the words “radical Islamic terrorism.” Speaking from the East Room in the White House, President Obama gave the shortest address of his time in office – after finally uttering the three-word phrase, Obama left the podium. His address...
In a move aimed at positioning himself as the election’s most stridently pro-Israel candidate, Texas Senator Ted Cruz promised to scrap plans to put anti-slavery activist Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill and to instead place Israeli First Lady Sara Netanyahu on the currency. RELATED: Ted Cruz: “Barack Obama Doesn’t Want to Kill Civilians. I Do” “If we must put a...
A week after announcing it would cancel plans to expand its operation into North Carolina due to the passage of its controversial “bathroom laws,” the online payment company PayPal will instead be opening offices in the Islamic Republic of Iran, the company announced Thursday. “As corporate citizens, we will not stand by and tolerate injustice or discrimination, especially against the...
Urging the state’s residents to “reject bigotry and discrimination” and step into the 21st century, the Islamist terrorist group ISIS announced today that it had canceled an upcoming terrorist attack in North Carolina in response to a recently-passed law restricting transgender individuals from using the bathroom of their preferred gender identity. “HB2, commonly known as the bathroom bill, perpetuates discrimination and violates...
Citing the collapse of Syria and Iraq, Democratic Senator and presidential candidate Bernie Sanders vowed to break up the “too big to fail” countries if elected president. “Look, we see in the Middle East that when these big countries fail, it’s the rest of the global system that is forced to bail them out,” Sanders said in a meeting with...
Echoing calls for “Safe Zones” in Syria to protect civilians from ISIS, students at several American universities have called on the U.S. military to help establish “Safe Spaces” on campus to protect the students from “terrorist attacks on [their] feelings.” “Everyone is talking about the suffering of the Syrians and asking what we can do to help them, but no...
A legal showdown between the U.S. government and Apple over the FBI’s demand that the company unlock the iPhone of the San Bernardino terrorist has been solved after FBI investigators discovered the shooter’s password was “1, 2, 3, 4.” The government had demanded that Apple provide investigators with access to data in the shooter’s phone that they believe may reveal new...
Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump called on President Obama to use torture against the terrorists who attacked an airport and subway in Brussels Tuesday, saying the use of torture against terror suspects dead or alive was the only way to prevent future attacks. “These jihadis would never blow themselves up in the first place if they knew they’d be tortured...
American supporters of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump living in Israel have declared that they are tired of having to “press 4 for English” when calling government offices because their new country is overrun by non-Americans. “I’m sick and tired of seeing all these foreigners everywhere speaking all their foreign languages. I mean Christ, this is America, speak English,” said...
After finally declaring that ISIS’s murder of thousands of Christians, Yazidis, and Shia Muslims constitutes genocide, the Obama administration is reportedly seriously considering officially recognizing that the Pope is Catholic. “The genocide recognition wasn’t an easy decision to make. It took more than two years for us to conclusively determine whether ISIS’s killing of tens of thousands of these minorities...
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s upcoming speech to AIPAC, the influential pro-Israel lobby, has presented a unique predicament for social justice warriors across the United States, as the leftists have not been able to decide which side to protest. “We were going to post a bunch of comments on Trump’s Facebook page telling him, ‘Don’t speak to those apartheid-supporting Jews,...
Looking to mitigate Israeli concerns over the recently-completed Iranian nuclear deal, which Israelis fear will allow Iran to build a nuclear weapon, President Obama announced plans to send hundreds of “Duck and Cover” videos to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. “While the Israelis have claimed allowing Iran to build a nuclear bomb would leave them vulnerable and defenseless, these videos...
Leaders across the Middle East are calling for the spread of dictatorship to the United States, as the ongoing presidential election campaign has shined a light on the dangers of democratic governance. “While Egypt’s citizens are protected from whack jobs who try to win over voters by bragging about the size of their peckers, in America an orange steak salesman/reality...
With prominent anti-Semites including former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke and Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan endorsing Republican billionaire Donald Trump in his run for President, other noted anti-Semites including Richard Falk and the leaders of ISIS and al Qaeda are facing increasing pressure to get on board the Trump bandwagon. “On the one hand, the infidel Trump represents...
In an historic vote to decide the future of the country, Iran’s “Khamenei is the Greatest” party gained a majority in parliament in a narrow victory over the country’s “Long Live Khamenei” party, with all other parties disqualified before the voting began. “This vote proves that Iran is a model democracy that Thomas Jefferson himself would envy,” U.S. Secretary of...
Libyan terror group Ansar al-Sharia, which helped carry out the 2012 attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, lashed out at House Republicans this week after claims surfaced that a series of investigations into the attack were aimed at damaging Democratic Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. “While we were initially pleased that Congress was holding so many hearings in response to...
An FBI effort to use waterboarding to retrieve information from the iPhone of the ISIS-linked San Bernardo shooter has failed miserably, with officials saying the contents of the phone may be lost for good. “So now the fucking phone won’t even turn on,” a dejected FBI Director James Comey told The Mideast Beast. “This is the last time I ask...
A series of brutally graphic videos, such as this one or this one, depicting unspeakable carnage has begun circulating in Iraq and Syria, horrifying the countries’ leaders and citizens alike. “How could someone do such a thing to another human being?” ISIS executioner Abu Rumaysah asked after watching a shocking video of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump shouting over Florida Senator Marco...
Israeli leaders held a heated debate over how the country could respond to the Palestinians’ membership to the International Criminal Court in the pettiest, least mature manner possible. While Netanyahu initially suggested withholding funds from the Palestinians slated for municipal services, Economy Minister Naftali Bennett blasted the proposal as “hoity toity” and instead suggested a “pants blockade” on the Palestinian territories....
With the country gripped with panic after months of terrorist attacks and some calling this the start of a third Intifada, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu convened an emergency cabinet meeting Tuesday evening to address Playboy magazine’s announcement that it would no longer run images of naked women in its print edition. “Everyone in this country is in a panic over...
