Israel

Israel Approves Housing Settlement in Chicago’s South Side
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Israel Approves Housing Settlement in Chicago’s South Side

In a move it insists is not aimed at antagonizing President Obama, nor the recent “massive spike in violence”, the Israeli government has approved 400 new settlement units in South Chicago. Those settlements will span Obama’s home and the neighborhoods in which the president once worked as a community organizer. Several public housing apartment buildings in Chicago’s Roseland and West...

Are You up for the ‘Iron Dome’ Challenge?
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Are You up for the ‘Iron Dome’ Challenge?

Following the success of the Ice Bucket Challenge in aid of ALS, Hamas and the IDF have been moved to create their very own charity fundraising scheme. Saul Starstein, Director of Giving for the IDF explained more. “We all accept that our media profile is really not that great. Now’s not the time to get into the blame game of...

Mobile Networks Outage Causes Everyone to Lose Their Collective Shit
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Mobile Networks Outage Causes Everyone to Lose Their Collective Shit

Thursday afternoon saw a widespread hush descend across Israel for several hours, the cause of which was blamed on faulty cellular towers. A beefed up police presence and a rising sense of panic and uncertainty led to some comparisons with a standard terrorist attack with numerous people admitted to hospital rooms out of shock and a sudden mass onset of tinnitus....

Iron Dome to Sell Naming Rights to Make up Monetary Losses from Last War
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Iron Dome to Sell Naming Rights to Make up Monetary Losses from Last War

Israel’s Head of Military Operations, Tomer Shalom, admitted today that the Iron Dome, Israel’s air defense system, has officially run out of funding and is now selling its naming rights to make up for the seriously-fucking-insane monetary losses suffered during the recent war. It is understood that the two strongest contenders are currently WAZE and Electra, both of which promise to...