“I’m frankly a bit disappointed in myself,” sighed Ms. Berkman. “As a BSU sorority sophomore I should be expected to keep the alcohol fueled orgy going the full 10 days of the trip. I think the weather got to me.”
Becca Berkman, 20, is a second year student and chairman of Kinda Jewish Sorta Supporting Israel Student Association at Big State University. It’s the seventh morning of her Birthright trip, and Becca unexpectedly finds herself listening to the tour guide explaining the history of Jerusalem’s Old City.
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“Normally I’d be dozing off right now, but last night I actually went to bed at 11 pm and kicked out the two guys waiting there for me with a bottle of Arak”, said Becca. “I’ve already had sex twice with each of the soldiers and three times with the security guard, so I took a night off. I’m learning some crazy shit today, did you know they built all the Mosques right on top of the Jewish Temple? These people didn’t even hear about zoning and urban planning! I can’t believe I got so sexually exhausted I actually learned something.”
Birthright Israel director Ron Jeremy expounded on the organization’s mission: “The goal of Birthright is to form a deeply-penetrating connection to Zionism following a vigorous back-and-forth exchange between the students and the soldiers. We believe that our participants are mature enough to face hard questions and handle slippery arguments, while engaging in stimulating discourse. We’re also trying to get Jews to fuck each other.”
