Gary Girth

 

New U.S. Travel Ban Specifically Targets “Shithole Countries”

New U.S. Travel Ban Specifically Targets “Shithole Countries”

With the so-called ‘Muslim Ban’ being broadly challenged by Federal Courts, President Trump has been busy drafting a new travel ban, barring all people who originate from ‘shithole countries.’ What this means, specifically is not exactly clear. When asked in a press conference about which countries will be targeted he responded, “You know, like Paris, or like France or whatever…they can come, but they gotta take a shower first.” TMB asked which Middle Eastern nations would be affected by the...

Yair Netanyahu to Run for US Senate as Republican

Yair Netanyahu to Run for US Senate as Republican

Following the release of the controversial recordings of Yair Netanyahu boasting of his sexual exploits, as well as his father’s role in orchestrating shady deals with high-profile billionaire Kobi Maimon, Yair Netanyahu has gained support from the traditionally pro-Netanyahu GOP. The President himself even commented, saying that he saw a lot of himself in that very smart and humble young man. Critics within the Republican party say that the recordings, though indicative of the character of the party is not quite...

Trump ‘Playground-Tweets’ Iran

Trump ‘Playground-Tweets’ Iran

As Iranian protests have intensified, President Donald Trump has been increasingly vocal in support of them, even taking personal shots at Iranian President Hassan Rouhani. On Saturday, he tweeted, “It’s a wonderful thing when university students in other countries protest bad leaders. This Rouhani guy’s obviously not a genius or even like very smart. Sad!” Apparently not satisfied with this jab, an hour later, he tweeted again, “I bet his approval ratings aren’t great like mine. Oh, and I heard...

GOP Decides Prayer Now Officially Tax Deductible

GOP Decides Prayer Now Officially Tax Deductible

Following the success of Israeli Agriculture Minister, Uri Ariel’s campaign to pray away the drought that has affected the region for years, several key GOP leaders have inserted a provision into the new United States Tax Plan to allow tax deductions for prayer. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan commented, “We used to allow deductions for silly things like installing solar panels and investing in proper insulation and water conservation. None of which gets a mention in either Testament. Now...

Mike Pence to Postpone Middle East Trip: “Things Are Getting a Little Too Liberal Over There.”

Mike Pence to Postpone Middle East Trip: “Things Are Getting a Little Too Liberal Over There.”

Vice President Mike Pence has postponed his Middle East tour scheduled for next week. He first cited the GOP Tax Plan as the reason for the delay but later admitted that it was his unhappiness with what he sees as an increasingly ungodly tinge to the region. “Things are just getting a little too liberal over there.” he acknowledged in a TMB interview. “I mean, I’m as progressive as the next guy, but they’ve got women driving cars in Saudi...

ISIS Leader Resigns Amid Allegations of Respecting Women

ISIS Leader Resigns Amid Allegations of Respecting Women

ISIS was dealt a crippling political blow on Tuesday when its senior leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, resigned amid numerous allegations of respectful treatment of women. One accuser even described him allowing a female hostage to drive a motor vehicle. Another claimed he was known to not only ask, but to wait for consent before engaging in sexual acts. ISIS issued a rare public comment, saying, “We have a clear moral stance against the fair and dignified treatment of women, and...