Iran to Nuclear Inspectors: “Sorry, All Our Reactors have COVID-19!”

Natanz Nuclear Facility - By Hamed Saber - https://www.flickr.com/photos/hamed/237790717, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2817131

While the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) is responsible for inspecting all of Iran’s nuclear sites, the process has proven difficult, especially since the outbreak of COVID-19. What many nuclear inspectors have found surprising is the fact that every single nuclear site is reportedly testing positive for the virus, rendering them impossible to investigate.

A chief IAEA nuclear inspector described the experience. “I was really impressed with their honesty. To no benefit of their own, they told me about the COVID-19 outbreak that had occurred in every single one of their nuclear facilities.  They explained, in no uncertain terms, that if I were to thoroughly inspect their nuclear sites, I would surely contract the disease, and then die alone…in an Iranian hospital…with no ventilator.”

While some have criticized the move as a ploy to avoid oversight, others have praised this as the next great legal maneuver. Attorneys around the world have begun invoking the “COVID defense” as a means of preventing access to areas, documents, and even digital files.

A professor of law who works with the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) went on the record saying, “The truth of the matter is we do not know how this disease spreads, so it’s always better to respect social distancing, mind your own business, and keep walking, pal!”

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