Western Media Confused After Discovering Israel Not Involved in Most Middle East Conflicts

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL — Due to escalating tensions in Middle Eastern countries, arriving Western journalists were shocked to discover that the Middle East has a ton of conflicts, and very few are even remotely related to Israel.

“I always write about the ‘Middle Eastern’ conflict being Israelis vs. Palestinians, but it turns out, the Middle East is a huge, complex, messed up region,” a BBC journalist exclaimed. “Who knew?”

Despite heavy media attention on Israel, a deeper analysis has uncovered that the Middle East/Northern Africa geographic areas are, to use a technical term, ‘ridiculously fucked up’. Between ISIS still in Syria, a Syrian civil war that just won’t fucking quit, a Yemeni civil war, a coalition fighting in Yemen, a failed Libyan government, two ousted Egyptian leaders only to be left with a quasi-dictator, a FUBAR-Iraq, and Iran funding proxy terror organizations while marching toward nuclear arms, the Elders of Zion apparently had their hands quite full over the past several years.

“Let’s take what’s going on in Yemen for example,” a New York Times reporter said. “It gets super complicated when you have a predominantly Muslim country that’s fractured along sectarian lines, with Saudi Arabia and Iran, two other Muslim countries, arming the two opposite sides…… yada, yada, yada, my brain is starting to hurt. It’s a lot simpler to just reinforce the Jews vs. Muslims narrative, so historically, that’s what we’ve tried to do.”

Upon learning about the range of problems facing the Middle East, leaders of the BDS movements said, “Well, we can still blame it all on the Jews, right?”