Israel-Palestine

Russia to Israel: Civilian Casualties Unacceptable Outside Chechnya, Ukraine and Syria
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Russia to Israel: Civilian Casualties Unacceptable Outside Chechnya, Ukraine and Syria

In response to the Gaza conflict, Russia’s Foreign Ministry has warned the Israeli Ambassador in Moscow that further “civilian casualties are unacceptable outside Chechnya, Ukraine and Syria.” The senior Russian official Nikolaj Migchik blasted Israel’s “excessive” military operations in Gaza. “I’m shocked. More than 200 people have been killed in Gaza, mostly innocent masked children in their 20s with Kalashnikovs...

UN Condemns Israeli Farmers for Damaging Gaza Terror Balloons
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UN Condemns Israeli Farmers for Damaging Gaza Terror Balloons

The United Nations General Assembly issued a resolution Tuesday condemning Israeli farmers for damaging Palestinian incendiary balloons (or ‘terror balloons’), which Gazan militants have been sending over the border – along with the occasional rocket salvo – into southern Israel, causing millions of dollars in damages to Israel’s agricultural economy. According to the United Nations, the balloons are sometimes damaged...

Hamas Admits They Never Understood What “Ceasefire” Actually Means
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Hamas Admits They Never Understood What “Ceasefire” Actually Means

In the wake of Israel-Hamas ceasefire talks, Hamas has admitted that they never really understood the definition of ‘ceasefire’. “We always thought that it meant ‘say you’ll stop but carry on launching rockets as usual'”, one spokesman for the Gaza-based Islamist group admitted. “You see, we weren’t really paying attention in the first negotiation meeting years ago and we’ve been...

After Removing Hamas from Terror List, EU Decides to Stop Calling Projectiles from Gaza ‘Rockets’
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After Removing Hamas from Terror List, EU Decides to Stop Calling Projectiles from Gaza ‘Rockets’

Following its decision to remove the Islamist militant group Hamas from its list of terrorist organizations, a top court of the European Union will now meet to decide what to call the aerial projectiles launched from the Gaza Strip at Israeli cities. While Sweden has proposed calling the projectiles, previously known as missiles or rockets, ‘aeronautic modern art,’ Spain has suggested they...

CNN Criticizes Iron Dome Attacks Against ‘Mostly Peaceful Rockets’
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CNN Criticizes Iron Dome Attacks Against ‘Mostly Peaceful Rockets’

Accusing Israel’s missile defense system of unprovoked aggression, CNN has come out against Iron Dome’s violent attacks on “mostly peaceful rockets” fired by Hamas from the Gaza Strip. Noting that the vast majority of the hundreds of rockets launched at Israeli towns and cities landed uneventfully in empty fields, CNN anchor Don Lemon pointed out that the Iron Dome batteries...

US Supreme Court to Decide Where Jerusalem Is
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US Supreme Court to Decide Where Jerusalem Is

JERUSALEM — Officials in Jerusalem say the city is in the midst of an existential crisis. Not because of former US President Trump’s decision to move the US embassy, or the recent violent clashes in the Old City over the weekend, or the crazy foreigners who dress like Jesus and roam the streets. Rather, they found out that it will...

Study: 87% of Online Commenters About Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Hold Master’s Degrees in Middle Eastern Studies
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Study: 87% of Online Commenters About Israeli-Palestinian Conflict Hold Master’s Degrees in Middle Eastern Studies

According to the results of a study conducted by one prestigious American community college, over 87% of comments made on various internet forums about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict were written by people who had completed master’s degrees in the field of middle eastern studies, or in a comparable field. The study, which was carried out by researchers over a five-year period,...

Following UK’s Palestine Vote, Israel to Recognize Scotland
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Following UK’s Palestine Vote, Israel to Recognize Scotland

Following the vote by the UK’s Parliament to recognize the State of Palestine last October, the Israeli Knesset has voted to officially recognize Scotland as a state (whether they want independence or not) and demand British occupation of the territory end immediately. “The British have denied the Scots their freedom for too long,” Israel’s former chubby Foreign Minister said in a...

Israel Begins Construction of Glass Houses in Attempt to Discourage Stone Throwing
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Israel Begins Construction of Glass Houses in Attempt to Discourage Stone Throwing

This week Israel announced that it will begin to build glass houses for Palestinians in the hopes that the delicate domiciles will discourage the stone-throwing that has become a staple of clashes with Israeli police. “The throwing of rocks at our security forces has reached unacceptable levels,” a high-ranking Israeli intelligence official announced earlier today. “Look, it’s a well known...

Azerbaijan Recognizes Israel’s Right to Replace Palestinian Leader Mahmoud Abbas
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Azerbaijan Recognizes Israel’s Right to Replace Palestinian Leader Mahmoud Abbas

Azerbaijani lawmakers backed a non-binding resolution on Monday that recognizes Israel’s decision to break off peace negotiations with the Palestinian Authority as legitimate. “These peace talks have been in pre-production since the silent era,” noted Second Deputy Prime Minister of Azerbaijan Ferid Yaakinov. “Simply put: Mahmoud Abbas isn’t delivering a believable performance as Israel’s peace partner. Israel would be crazy...

Controversial New Study Claims Palestinian Authority Schoolbooks Teach Reading, Writing and Bomb Making
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Controversial New Study Claims Palestinian Authority Schoolbooks Teach Reading, Writing and Bomb Making

Guided by Messianic visions of blowing up two of Islam’s holy sites, some violent Jewish settlers, or ‘asshats’ as they are often known in Israel, have long asserted that the way Palestinian children are educated is proof of the true intentions of the Palestinian leadership vis-à-vis Israel. According to Dr. Zion Ben-Judah, a senior member of the pro-settler Council for a...