Boaz Bulbulovitz

Boaz Bulbulovitz is a senior correspondent at The Mideast Beast, and author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning “My Prick Is Holier than Yours: Why the Temple Mount Is Nothing More than a Petty Genital Size Contest.” As The New York Times Book Review put it, Bulbulovitz “wields his pen like a trigger-happy penis, penetrating the deepest recesses of Judeo-Islamic fascism.”

Born and raised in the religious West Bank settlement of Beit Zayin, Bulbulovitz was disowned by his family after many a steamy IDF shower session convinced him that he was gay. He then spent a decade traveling – developing a love of hashish and Muslim men in Morocco, Theravada Buddhism in Thailand and raging progressivism in the Netherlands – before returning to Israel to study law. Now a full-time writer, Bulbulovitz is currently working on his fourth book, “Pan-Semenites: How Gay Jews & Arabs Can Together Solve the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict,” and lives in Jaffa with his Cairo-born husband, footballer Tiz al-Jizzum, and their twin Boxers, Allah and Hashem.

Follow him on Twitter https://twitter.com/bulbulovitz

 

In Wake of Burkini Ban, Muslim Women Demand Criminalization of Fat White Men in Speedos
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In Wake of Burkini Ban, Muslim Women Demand Criminalization of Fat White Men in Speedos

CANNES – A French-Muslim group has called for a ban on what it terms “woefully-endowed white walruses terrorizing our kids in public,” alongside the repeal of a string of municipal measures outlawing the burkini in southern France. Speaking to reporters yesterday, Dr. Yasmina Al-Hazeemi of France’s Think of the Children! Foundation urged the nation’s parliament to criminalize the tight-fitting male...

Poll: Most ‘Liberal’ Zionists Secretly Hope Occupation Never Ends
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Poll: Most ‘Liberal’ Zionists Secretly Hope Occupation Never Ends

Despite vocal opposition to Israeli control over the West Bank, most Israeli Jews who outwardly express support for a Palestinian state actually think it would be a disaster, according to a report by a Tel Aviv-based think tank. The findings are based on a poll conducted by the Israel Democracy Center among 2,000 self-described ‘Liberal’ Zionists in Israel. “We want...

Trump, Netanyahu to Reaffirm Shared Values of Racism, Corruption & Nepotism

Trump, Netanyahu to Reaffirm Shared Values of Racism, Corruption & Nepotism

U.S. President Donald J. Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu are scheduled to meet next month in Manila at a summit billed ‘Great Leaders Celebrating Great Common Values’. According to a statement issued by the White House, “President Trump and Prime Minister Netanyahu, along with other great world leaders, will participate in a two-day summit that will celebrate our...

‘The Tel Avivian’ Outstrips ‘The Brazilian’ as World’s Favorite Bikini Wax Style

‘The Tel Avivian’ Outstrips ‘The Brazilian’ as World’s Favorite Bikini Wax Style

TEL AVIV – It’s summertime! The streets of Israel’s coastal metropolis were filled with boisterous revelers after the World Pubic Waxing Association announced that the city’s homegrown ‘Tel Avivian’ had officially surpassed the veteran ‘The Brazilian’ as the world’s most popular bikini wax style. ‘The Tel Avivian’ – with its iconic strip of interconnecting Star of Davids – was ranked first...

Kanye West: Jews “Chose” 2,000 Years of Anti-Semitism
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Kanye West: Jews “Chose” 2,000 Years of Anti-Semitism

Just a day after saying that African-Americans ‘chose’ to be enslaved for 400 years, controversial rapper Kanye West has implied that Jews were also willing participants in their own violent subjugation. “Them Jews… when you hear about all that anti-Semitism crap going on for 2,000 years – that also sounds to me like a choice,” he told TMZ in a follow-up interview....

Iran’s Supreme Leader Issues Fatwa against Ball Shaving

Iran’s Supreme Leader Issues Fatwa against Ball Shaving

TEHRAN – Responding to what he termed “the alarming trend of homosexualization” sweeping Iran, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei has outlawed male genital grooming. Blaming “western cultural imperialism” for the growing popularity of ‘manscaping’ in the Islamic Republic, Ali Khamenei announced the fatwa at a recent meeting of senior Shi’ite clergy in the holy city of Qom: “Allah made your...

‘Lesjihadis’ Seize Saudi Embassy, Threaten to Kill Male Hostages
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‘Lesjihadis’ Seize Saudi Embassy, Threaten to Kill Male Hostages

BEIRUT – Lesbian terrorists are vowing to execute 34 male diplomats if Saudi Arabia does not grant women and LGBT citizens equal rights, after storming the kingdom’s embassy in the Lebanese capital this morning. Posing as a class of political science college students, dozens of female militants – who smuggled plastic guns in their orifices – seized the compound at...

ISIS Taps Roy Moore as ‘Global Envoy for Man-Girl Love’

ISIS Taps Roy Moore as ‘Global Envoy for Man-Girl Love’

Accused pedophile Roy Moore has accepted a position as ‘Global Ambassador for Man-Girl Love’ with the terrorist group ISIS, just days after he was defeated in Alabama’s U.S. Senate special election. Speaking to The Mideast Beast, Moore said: “Clearly, America no longer respects biblical precedents of men having romantic relations with girls. Indeed, the Establishment’s satanic embrace of liberal Marxism...

Source: Trump Hates Little Qatar Because It Reminds Him of His Tiny Hands

Source: Trump Hates Little Qatar Because It Reminds Him of His Tiny Hands

WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump’s ‘Small Hands Syndrome’ is reportedly driving his position on a key Middle East conflict. According to a senior White House aide, Trump’s siding with Saudi Arabia in its standoff with Qatar is not due to the tiny gas-producing emirate alleged support for extremist organizations, but rather is an extension “of Trump’s outsized obsession...

Breaking: Hezbollah Leader Undergoes Reduction Surgery for Size of Man-Tits
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Breaking: Hezbollah Leader Undergoes Reduction Surgery for Size of Man-Tits

BEIRUT – Hassan Nasrallah, the leader of Lebanon’s Shiite militant group Hezbollah, is reportedly recovering from radical breast reduction surgery in a secret bunker in the country’s Beqaa Valley. The reduction mammoplasty was performed by Swiss cosmetic surgeons clandestinely flown in to conduct the operation, according to a disgruntled member of Hezbollah’s leadership, who spoke with The Mideast Beast on condition of...

Cuming to Skies Near You: Air Aviv to Offer Clothing-Optional “Adults-Only” Class
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Cuming to Skies Near You: Air Aviv to Offer Clothing-Optional “Adults-Only” Class

TEL AVIV – For the first time in aviation history, Tel Aviv-based carrier Air Aviv will offer a restricted, clothing-optional “Adults-Only Class” on selected trans-Mediterranean routes. The separate section – to be located at the rear of each aircraft – will offer five rows of business class-quality seats, each with widescreen flat screen with over 10,000 free adult films, retractable privacy shutters, complimentary...

Lesjihadis Seize Saudi Border Region, Proclaim ‘Caliphate of Pussirabia’

Lesjihadis Seize Saudi Border Region, Proclaim ‘Caliphate of Pussirabia’

NAJRAN – Topless Kalashnikov-wielding militants patrol the streets, searching for pockets of resistance, while other units distribute food and water to thousands of refugees streaming into the fledgling ‘Islamo-feminist Caliphate of Pussirabia’ (‘Kussirabia’ in Arabic). Najran District was an ideal target, says Al-Kus Brigades General Aisha Al-Mahbala. “It’s fertile, and adjacent to Yemen; we have an alliance with the Shi’ite...

Donald Trump Declared “America’s First Middle Eastern President”

Donald Trump Declared “America’s First Middle Eastern President”

Hailing the U.S. President-elect’s “strength, wealth and galactic levels of narcissism and sexual predatorism,” Syria’s Bashar al-Assad has crowned Donald J. Trump “the United States of America’s first Middle Eastern President.” “I take great pride in your election,” said al-Assad, according to a transcript of a phone call between the two released online this morning by the Syrian Presidency. “As...

Gay Vandals Give Al-Aqsa Mosque ‘Rainbow Makeover’ on New Year’s Eve
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Gay Vandals Give Al-Aqsa Mosque ‘Rainbow Makeover’ on New Year’s Eve

JERUSALEM – Just a month after painting Egypt’s Great Pyramid of Giza pink, the Homorabian Liberation Front has struck again, coating the dome of Islam’s third holiest site in the colors of the rainbow. In a daring New Year’s Eve mission, activists from the Arab LGBT group snuck onto Jerusalem’s Temple Mount and scaled Al-Aqsa Mosque to execute their so-called...

In Anti-Jihad Op, Santa Blitzes ISIS with Radioactive Reindeer Poop
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In Anti-Jihad Op, Santa Blitzes ISIS with Radioactive Reindeer Poop

In a blitzkrieg Christmas Eve mission, Santa Klaus and his squadrons of hooved helpers pounded ISIS positions with atomic reindeer feces, slaying thousands of jihadis and laying waste to much of the terror group’s heavy weaponry. “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas you satanic pedophiles!” cried Santa as hundreds of nuclear excrement-armed flying sleighs discharged their lethal loads across ISIS-controlled Syria...

Trump’s Real Reason for Delaying Israel Trip: “Too Many Muslims for My Taste”

Trump’s Real Reason for Delaying Israel Trip: “Too Many Muslims for My Taste”

Donald Trump has revealed that Israel’s “hellishly” large Muslim population and its leader’s “jihad appeasement” convinced him to nix his planned visit there, despite earlier tweeting that he was merely postponing the trip. “After doing my research, I realized just how many ISIS-worshipping Muslims the supposedly ‘Jewish State’ has,” Trump told FOX News. “20%! 20%! That’s like every U.S. Catholic actually...

Netanyahu to Chinese President: Why Can’t Palestinians Be More like Tibetans?
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Netanyahu to Chinese President: Why Can’t Palestinians Be More like Tibetans?

Wikileaks has released a transcript of a controversial phone call in which the leaders of China and Israel discuss their respective policies in Tibet and the Palestinian territories. The leaked 20-minute conversation opens with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu lavishing praise on Chinese President Xi Jinping: “Your great nation has much to teach us on how to suppress millions of primitives...

Ahead of Trump Visit, Palestinians Prepare to be Called ‘Stupid Lazy Rapists’

Ahead of Trump Visit, Palestinians Prepare to be Called ‘Stupid Lazy Rapists’

RAMALLAH – Palestinians are hurriedly preparing for President-elect Donald Trump’s upcoming Holy Land trip, bracing themselves for a potential onslaught of derogatory abuse. “Look, we’ve been called just about everything by the Israelis – liars, thieves, stinking Arab terrorists, genocidal Islamo-Nazi anti-Semites and more” said Marwan, a 71-year-old mechanic, “but Trump calling us rapists, like he did the Mexicans, would...