The United Nations has found Israel guilty of war crimes due to its relentless use of Iron Dome during the last war between Israel and Gaza in 2014. From the time hostilities broke out at the beginning of July of 2014, the Israeli government has since been criticized for its unapologetic use of force in destroying projectiles sent from Gaza. Many have protested that...
Living in Israel, it’s easy to forget how good you have it. It’s only when real tragedies occur in other countries and dominate the media that you realize everything you’ve been taking for granted. I had this realization this week, as my Facebook newsfeed was littered with disaster stories from half way around the world. Families torn apart. Lives turned...
Israeli Tech Company, DigityzeMe, unveiled this week it’s new product expected to revolutionize something related to how people communicate or interact with people or machines online. The platform, set for release at the beginning of the summer, will have something to do with enabling companies to do something with users data and somehow help customers create some sort of online...
As Israel has embraced new waves of immigrants entering the country, those immigrants are slowly starting to realize that the ‘land of milk and honey’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. “Land of milk and honey, my ass! I’ve made a huge mistake,” said David Greenberg while holding a surfboard on his way to the beach. “I left a...
Sources close to Benjamin Netanyahu confirmed reports yesterday that the Prime Minister was ‘outraged’ and ‘crushed’ after President Obama returned a box of Netanyahu’s belongings, including a mix tape made specifically for the President. “I just don’t know what happened,” the Prime Minister stated. “One day everything’s fine, the next day he’s flirting with Iran on a terrible nuke deal?...
As the world continues to reflect on the 7 January attack on Charlie Hebdo, Joe Biden held a press conference to express his condolences to the people of France. In a prepared statement, and surrounded by his wife and family, Biden said, “Part of living in a free an open society is being able to express ourselves. Unfortunately, the satirists...
As a ceasefire continues to hold between Israel and Hamas in Gaza (one of its beautiful beaches in the image above), Hamas has announced that it will lift its crushing blockade and restrictions on Israeli goods and citizens. The surprise move was meant as a showing of good faith and a peace offering to its Jewish neighbor to the north, east,...
Local Tel Aviv Resident, Etai Rosenfield, expressed complete shock when he learned of Hillary Clinton’s declaration that she will seek the presidency. “I just didn’t see it coming,” Rosenfield stated in an exclusive interview. “I mean, talk about an announcement that just came out of completely nowhere!” RELATED: Hillary Clinton denies having a Jewish heritage; admits to “slight resemblance” Research from...
Iraqi Security Forces (ISF) have announced that Julia Pierson, the Former US Secret Service Director, has been tapped to run the Iraqi national security organization. “We’ve been looking for the right candidate for months,” explained a top official in the Iraqi Security Forces. “When we read about the security breach at the White House, the subsequent lying as to how...
One American journalist has won the coveted Pulitzer Prize for online journalism, presented by the prestigious Columbia University, for his investigative work uncovering a major conspiracy among satirical news sites: “the stories are not true!” read his final conclusions. The work that won him the Pulitzer Prize debunked a satirical article published by The Mideast Beast (TMB) about Eminem converting to Judaism and...
In a surprise twist of events, Fox News anchor Eric Bolling came out in support of racial profiling white males in an effort to protect US schools. Bolling said that he is in support of policies that promote additional levels of screening for white males in an effort to keep schools safe from mass shootings. Under Bollings plan, white males...
Lucifer LLC announced better than expected earning results this week, following the Israeli election. While analysts are still studying the documents, it looks as though the majority of the earnings came from one major client. “We gave Bibi the nickname ‘Rainmaker’” the Devil said, lighting a Cuban cigar with the snap of his fingers and adjusting the ‘Customer of the...
In the wake of the Charlie Hebdo attacks, leaders from around the world have come together in a rare act of unity to send a message to terrorists around the world: Terrorism, in any shape or form, will simply not be tolerated when perpetrated against White, Christian, Westerners. “These last several weeks have been eye opening,” Secretary State John Kerry said...
It’s election time in Israel again, and Benjamin Netanyahu is hoping to replicate the recent US elections, where only a third of the electorate participated. Netanyahu’s political advisors are white boarding strategies to replicate the same voter apathy in Israel, an apparent silver-bullet for winning elections for conservatives. “We currently get about 70% voter participation,” Netanyahu said. “That’s way too...
Ashton Kutcher was accidentally nominated U.S. Secretary of Defense yesterday as the result of a White House back-office mistake. The nomination was supposed to go to Pentagon veteran Ashton Carter, but a low-level white house intern added Kutcher’s name instead. “What kind of parents name their kid Ashton?” the intern asked. “Who would’ve thought there were actually two Ashtons in...
