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Former Secret Service Director Tapped To Lead Iraqi Security Forces

© Jackethead | Dreamstime.com - Secret Service Agent Listens To Earpiece, Behind Photo

Iraqi Security Forces (ISF) have announced that Julia Pierson, the Former US Secret Service Director, has been tapped to run the Iraqi national security organization.

“We’ve been looking for the right candidate for months,” explained a top official in the Iraqi Security Forces. “When we read about the security breach at the White House, the subsequent lying as to how far the intruder got, and the overall undisciplined culture of the secret service, we knew we had found the right person.”

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“We think she’ll fit right in here,” explained an ISF general. “We pride ourselves on projecting a false level of confidence and competence at doing our job, and that is matched only by the US Secret Service.”

When we asked Ms. Pierson for comment as to why she decided to take the position, she replied, “This was a perfect opportunity to make an impact and help the….Oh Fuck it. I had nothing better to do.”

 

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