Former First Lady and Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton categorically denied being a member of the Chosen People of God over the weekend, saying, “I know I have the nose for it, and perhaps even the temperament, but I am in no way connected to those Jews.”
Speaking at a ‘Friends of Saudi Arabia’ fundraiser, the former Secretary of State cited example after example of her personal ill-will toward the descendants of Abraham and Sarah. “Truth be told, I’ve always been more of an Ishmael girl myself.”
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu refused to engage in speculation regarding the motivation behind Ms. Clinton’s remarks. His office issued a statement that simply read, “Are you surprised? I’m not surprised.”
Former Presidential cigar aficionado Monica Lewinsky, a Jewess herself, fired back at Ms. Clinton. “Bitch forgot to mention something else she shared with the Jewish people… or at least with this Jewish person,” said Ms. Lewinsky.
A Hindu standing nearby stuck up for Ms. Clinton. Apparently in their religion, she’s considered ‘sacred.’