The White House today announced the start of a new tradition for this holiday season with Sarah Sanders stating, “President Trump knows that the American people elected him to transform this country, and what better place to continue that journey than by vastly improving our traditions. So, starting this holiday he will be picking one member of the Saudi Royal Family to receive a very special gift: a full Presidential pardon, for any crimes they may, or we must stress very strongly, may not have committed.
She continued, “And I’m very pleased to announce that the first recipient of this new tradition is none other than the Crown Prince himself. It was certainly a very strong field this year, we were seriously considering a third cousin who had run up a ton of outstanding speeding tickets in the Washington DC area. But in the end, it just seemed like bin Salman needed it more.”