The Taliban Ministry of Tourism in Afghanistan is excitedly preparing to welcome vaccinated non-Muslim tourists in July. By contrast, virus-phobic Israel decided once again to postpone the reopening of its borders to vaccinated tourists until August due to the global spread of the coronavirus Delta variant.
The Taliban’s Tourism Minister, Mullah Kabir, spoke to The Mideast Beast after Lonely Planet recently named Afghanistan “the hottest spot on earth that you should visit once even if it costs you your life.”
“As enlightened and inclusive supremacists, we naturally welcome all infidel thrillseekers as long as you are properly vaccinated against modernity, rationality, literacy, feminism, Zionism, homosexuality and transgenderism,” Kabir said.
Kabir stressed Afghanistan’s unique selling points as a tourist destination.
“Taliban culture offers a charming rustic lifestyle, free from corrupt Western materialism and stress. We enjoy daily life that moves at a gentle pace without giving up any modern amenities of medievalism.”
Kabir urged Christian and Jewish pilgrims who currently cannot visit the Holy Land due to Israel’s strict travel laws to instead consider visiting Afghanistan.
“We offer custom-made Christian crucifixions and kosher pogroms at very competitive rates. Kabul’s annual attempt to hold a Pride Parade is a must experience for all true human rights champions worldwide. And for Christian tourists we offer the 21st century spiritual experience of walking barefoot on ecologically-friendly burning coal, because you know, walking on water is so outdated.”