Middle East Dictators to Accept Democracy After Learning About ‘Super-Delegates’

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Middle Eastern rulers from Egypt to Iran are reportedly willing to give democracy a second look after learning about the “Superdelegates” used to choose nominees in the U.S. presidential elections.

“Whenever I heard someone talk about ‘voting’ or ‘democracy,’ I assumed it was just a bunch of normal people going into a booth and choosing who they want to be president, and then that person is put in charge,” explained Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir. “But apparently, in America, the president is chosen by an elite group of electors handpicked by the ruling establishment. That doesn’t sound so bad.”

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Saudi King Salman told The Mideast Beast that he was also giving the superdelegate system a look.

“As long as I can appoint the superdelegates and execute any who doesn’t vote for me, why not?” King Salman replied when asked if he’d be willing to transition the Kingdom to a democracy. “I think my brothers and cousins would make great superdelegates, and it would be a great way to get them on the payroll.”

Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi said he wished he were made aware of the American system sooner. “If I had known about these superdelegates,” Sisi said, “I never would have needed that coup.”

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