Yoni Hertzelshtein and Yusuf Habibi, have yet again had their morning cigarette break interrupted by a colleague wanting to understand ‘all that crazy stuff happening over there’. The pair, who work in the marketing department for Tampon manufacturer Kimberly-Clark, explained this is not a unique occurrence.
“When things are really kicking off we can expect inane questions at any time of the day. We can start off a meeting talking about how we plan to promote our newest heavy-flow super-absorbent tampon, when suddenly Chris from marketing will say something like ‘I read this article on Israeli settlers, and I was just wondering…” said Yusuf.
“And everyone seems to think that Yoni and I will have some special insight, which is pretty racist, because he’s lived in Cleveland all his life and the nearest I’ve ever been to the Holy Land is the fucking falafel truck outside the office.”
“As the conversation goes on the sensitivity decreases and they start asking the typical questions, ‘Do you guys hate each other? Would you kill each other?’”
Yoni noted, “I don’t know any other times I would say this, but all Yusuf and I wanted to do was talk about menstrual cycles. It got so annoying we briefly considered jointly phoning in a bomb threat to the office, strictly as a show of unity and commitment to cooperation of course. And to get the rest of Friday off, which would have been sweet!”
Ironically the entire situation has brought the duo closer together. “Hating the rest of our coworkers has really forged a strong bond between us. We found so much to connect over,” Yusuf explained. “It really goes to show, any peoples can achieve peace with each other….. as long as you can both find another group to hate.”