Trump Bans Queen from US Due to Relation to Prophet Muhammed

By West Midlands Police from West Midlands, United Kingdom [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Promising to take no chances when it comes to America’s security, US President Donald Trump has banned the UK’s Queen Elizabeth II amid reports that she may be a descendent of Prophet Muhammed.

“I am hearing reports, very troubling, that the Queen is actually a Muslim terrorist, and I am issuing a complete ban on the royal family until we can figure out what the hell is going on,” Trump said in a press conference announcing the ban. “I have to say, when I proposed the Muslim ban, I had no idea that I’d end up kicking white people out of the country.”

The ban has infuriated many in Britain, who see it as an insult to their country.

“It is unacceptable for the American government to discriminate against our Queen simply based on her religious heritage,” Jeremy Corbyn, the head of the UK’s Labour Party, said in a statement. “Besides, it’s not like she’s a Jew or something.”