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Islamic State’s Porn Industry Condemned

The Islamic State today condemned the new nation’s porn sector after one leading production studio released a 30-minute length adult movie entitled “Giving Head to an Infidel.” The film was already expected to be controversial after leaked news it would star an Arab Christian. Yet, this paled in comparison to the outrage expressed by citizens in the caliphate today.

The caliphate, known for its predilection for removing heads, felt the film’s name was insulting to their achievements over the last few years and thus disrespected the Prophet. Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, full-time caliph and part-time head separator, condemned the film questioning: “How can we continue to convince the world we are serious about removing heads off infidels if we say people here are giving head?”

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“This is disappointing,” he continued, “we hoped to compete with the booming Lebanese porn industry. Now we might have to invade them instead.”

Yet, when I spoke to ‘Giving Head’s’ director, known as Porno Pete, he said he felt bitter at the decision given his studios’ capture of internationally revered actor ‘Jihadi John.’ “We brought in one of the most wanted actors in the world for this film in John. I mean even the USA have made him one of their most wanted so you can see the coup. I am really down.”

The masters of the art of ‘melon separation’, Al-Qaeda, condemned the calls to shelve the film and showed why it justified their break from ISIS. They claimed Islamic state was now becoming too out of touch with its young, male population.

 

 

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