ISIS Leader Offended Trump Hasn’t Praised Him as Strong Leader

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Saying he hoped it was simply an oversite and not an intentional snub, ISIS caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi reported that he was “deeply hurt” that Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has yet to offer him any praise.

“The Donald has called Vladimir Putin a strong leader, said that jackass Saddam was good at killing terrorists, and praised Gaddafi and Kim Jong Un, but can’t say one nice thing about me?” Baghdadi despaired. “After all the nice things I’ve said about him, this hurts.”

At an ISIS watching-party for Tuesday’s vice presidential debate, Baghdadi was reportedly embarrassed when his name failed to come up during an argument between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine over Trump’s admiration of foreign dictators.

“I don’t understand it. Sheikh Donald and I have so much in common,” Baghdadi noted. “Neither of us like Obama, we both oppose American influence in the world, and we both go to great lengths to conceal our hair loss.”

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