Due to the ongoing novel coronavirus pandemic, which has hit Iran especially hard, the country will be cancelling its annual Quds Day demonstrations, which are actually less about Jerusalem and rather a bit more focused on the customary call for Israel’s annihilation.
“It was an extremely difficult decision to make,” admitted Ramezan Sharif, spokesman of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, “But Quds Day can be celebrated nationally and internationally through other ways. We can make good use of cyberspace in this regard, inshallah. Despite the cancellations, we will not deprive our loyal people of the planned hatefest; we will simply make several online events instead. For the first event, we are using Fox & Friends as inspiration for the format, so on May 22 our Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei will be hosting a relaxed panel of his closest friends, like Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh, Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah and with a special guest: Chairman of the International Federation of Suicide Bombers, Mahlouf Abu-Jihad.
“Viewers will be able to call in and ask hate-filled questions, and we plan to have a live audience of political prisoners with a couple of live transmitted ‘crane executions’ to make the Al Quds Day even that much more festive.”