,

Hamas Mistakenly Orders Gwyneth Paltrow goop BDSM Kit

Photo 173183553 © - Dreamstime.com

In an embarrassing mix-up, the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas ordered hundreds of beginner’s BDSM kits from actress Gwyneth Paltrow’s gift guide, believing it was associated with the BDS, or Boycott-Divestment-Sanctions, movement against Israel.

Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh initially appeared triumphant after making the $1,350 purchase. Haniyeh released a video in which he donned black leather restraints on his wrists and ankles and let the “socialist democratic socialist” former UK Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn spank him with a matching paddle.

“With Allah as our witness, we will use this BDS kit until the state of Israel is wiped off the map,” Haniyeh said in a video, as Corbyn repeatedly struck him on the ass.

RELATED: Hamas Frustrated It Continues to Receive World Sympathy

The BDSM kit also spurred confusion in the United States after Democratic congresswoman Ilhan Omar paid for dozens of the kits with campaign funds. After a complaint to the Federal Elections Committee accused Omar of using campaign funds for personal expenses, Omar explained that she simply made the purchase to support the boycott of Israel.

As of press time, Hamas leaders had begun to catch on that the item in fact had nothing to do with the Jewish state.

“Honestly, I was ready to return the whole thing after a couple days,” Haniyeh told The Mideast Beast. “But Jeremy keeps insisting that if we try a little longer, we can wipe out Israel for good.”

Share this article

Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap