Disappointed ISIS Members Withdraw Request to Join ‘The Squad’

Image from Yahoo News at https://news.yahoo.com/many-americans-never-heard-squad-122758441.html, 24 July 2019

Some of the most ardent fighters of the Islamic State faced disappointment last week on realizing that ‘The Squad’ was not at all what they thought it was. They have since withdrawn their request to join.

“For a moment, we thought that this so-called ‘Squad’ was really cool”, one disappointed member of what’s left of the Caliphate said. “We heard that there was this anti-American band of politicians, hell-bent on destroying the United States from the inside in a blaze of revolutionary glory. And we were led to believe that they even want a “jihad against the Jews“, so we were naturally excited. And when we heard from Trump that they came from ‘totally broken and crime infested places‘ we thought ‘hey that sounds familiar!” 

“However, upon closer inspection we realised that they were just a bunch of fringe Democrats, most of whom were born and raised in America. They keep going on about a ‘green new deal and high tax for high earners. Some of them do appear to have some problems with Jews, but it doesn’t reach the ‘drive them into the sea’ levels of enthusiasm that we really need if we are going to sign on.” 

“Also, no one explained they were all women. Yuck!”