Cuomo Orders COVID-Positive Patients be Shipped to Homes of his Accusers

By Metropolitan Transportation Authority of the State of New York - SAS_1420, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=54700756

In an effort to crush two ongoing scandals, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has ordered that nursing homes transfer residents who test positive for coronavirus to the home of one of the women accusing Cuomo of sexual harassment.

Cuomo has been under fire over accusations that his administration hid the death toll from COVID-19 at New York nursing homes to downplay the impact of his decision to force these facilities to accept Covid-positive patients. Cuomo is also facing charges of sexual harassment by two former aides…wait…and now two more former aides.

Though facing calls to resign, Cuomo is hopeful that his most recent order will take care of both problems.

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“All patients testing positive for or showing symptoms of COVID-19 will be immediately removed from the hospital or elder care facility and brought to the residence of a young, female aide to the governor,” the executive order states. “We will do everything we can to protect our most vulnerable citizens, even if that means packing hundreds of them into a handful of studio apartments in Brooklyn with one bathroom and no ventilation.”

As of press time, Cuomo’s handling of the situation has earned him a second Emmy and as well as another book deal.

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