All Violence Stops in the Middle East as Everyone Asks, “What the Fuck Just Happened in the U.S.?”

By Ali Shaker/VOA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Shortly after 4am, Syrian government forces in west Aleppo crossed over into the rebel-held east, bearing cigarettes and coffee. Fighters from both sides were seen sitting in small circles smoking and staring into the middle distance with some placing a comforting arm around their former foes’ shoulders.

Simultaneously over Yemen, Saudi warplanes dropped food and medical supplies with the note “Hey guys, look we’re sorry things just got out of control. Let’s get your people and our people to meet in Mecca. I’m sure we can sort this out.”

And in Gaza, Palestinians approached Israeli army border positions with plates of hummus and mint tea. Corporal Jonathan Leibowitz commented as he shared the hummus with new friends; “Today has really put things into perspective, huh? I mean both sides here can admit we’ve elected some pretty shitty people, but this….”