The Mideast Beast Presents the Fill-in-the-Blank Israeli-Palestinian Conflict News Template

Are you a reporter who finds reporting the news on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict incredibly tedious and unvaried? Does it seem like every news story you write sounds the same, offering little-to-no varied perspective or alternative context? Fortunately for you, our idiot brilliant writers at The Mideast Beast have created a template so you can take your reporting to even lazier and shallower levels! Just fill in the blanks and you can report on anything!

Date Line: Jerusalem, Israel or Al-Quds, Occupied Palestine (Depending on which side you secretly want to win).

Israel has been criticized by the UN for ______ a Palestinian _______.

Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has defended Israel’s _____ of Palestinian ______ explaining that they were legitimate targets in Israel’s fight against _______. “My friends, Israel should never have to fear Palestinian ______. Israel’s right to ______ itself is unquestionable. If Palestinians don’t _____, we won’t ______ them.”

Meanwhile, Palestinian Authority leader Mahmoud Abbas told the international community that Israel’s ______ of Palestinian _______ goes against international ______ law and should be _________ by the international community. We will continue to fight against Zionist ______, but we are committed to peace.

The United States once again affirmed Israel’s right to ________, while France affirmed the Palestinian right to ______.