Taliban Negotiators in Awkward Water-Cooler Moment with Syrian Team

US envoys to the Taliban have experienced a stilted five-minute conversation with their colleagues on the ISIS desk, as they discussed their ‘working lunch’ with Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar.

“So yeah that sounds nice” commented one State Department official currently grappling with wiping out terror groups in Syria. “Was there hummus? I bet there was hummus. Everyone just sitting round and chillin, showing pictures of their kids and stuff. Sounds great. Well don’t mind us, we will just go back to studying more Army/CIA plans for dropping bombs on wedding parties.”

A diplomat assigned to the latest Taliban discussions said, “Crazy heh. Two decades of murdering each other and then we get back to where we were just before all the fireworks started. It’s almost like the last 20 years have been a massive waste of time. Those guys on the Damascus desk should really be thanking us for saving them 10 years of heartache. You’re welcome.”