With Congress debating the next round of stimulus funding in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, a group of international affairs analysts led by former Obama advisor Ben Rhodes is demanding a federal bailout. The proposal would create a universal basic income, or UBI, for experts in the Middle East who are no longer employable in their field due to years...
Disney World is deciding whether to relocate from Florida to Syria after a sinking accident involving Disney World’s popular Jungle Cruise boat. The recently appointed and highly experienced Security Chief of Disney World, Dick Grenell, spoke to The Mideast Beast. “Unfortunately, Florida has become too dangerous for our visitors. It is infested with man-eating alligators and I don’t speak Spanglish....
After ending donations to two controversial Christian charities, fast food chain Chick-fil-A is looking to gain additional left-wing customers by instead giving the funds to Islamist militant group Hezbollah. Officials from the Georgia-based fried chicken joint privately called the decision a win-win. “These contributions have somehow increased our support among progressives, who see Hezbollah as a like-minded organization,” one Chick-fil-A...
Analysts have been caught off guard by the announcement that Saudi oil monopoly, Aramco, is more valuable than the latest vegan pet food delivery startup out of Silicon Valley. One commented, “It appears that having a lock on the substance currently enabling the world to get from A to B, makes for a massively valuable corporation. Who knew? Apparently, this...
