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Syrian President Horrified After Noticing Mustache’s Similarity To Hitler’s

Assad By Roosewelt Pinheiro/ABr (Agência Brasil) [CC BY 3.0 br], via Wikimedia Commons

According to some report, Syrian President, Bashar Al-Assad spent twenty minutes on Sunday staring at his bathroom mirror, trying to remember what his mustache reminded him of.

After squinting really hard, he was quoted as saying “Holy fuck!” “Asma, get in here! I look like Hitler. Look, I Fucking look like Hitler. Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I’ve been on TV. I’ve given interviews, I’ve met with world leaders! This is so embarrassing!”

At press time, The Mideast Beast had obtained the following transcript:

Assad: “What do you think, top aide?”

Murmur from Top Aide: “It’s ok, although it does kind of look a little pedophilish”

Assad: “What?”

Aide: “Nothing, Nothing”

Assad: “You know what? On second thought, I think I’ll keep it. I feel like it suits me right now.

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