Syrian government officials have admitted that they are still grappling with the finer parts of the word ‘cease-fire’, apparently something that was supposed to go into effect. A spokesman admitted, “It’s not that we don’t like the idea in principal. Who doesn’t want to have the time for a nice cup of mint tea without fear of a mortar shell hitting you in the face? But the thing is that on balance we like wielding ultimate power more than we like tea-breaks.”
Rebel fighter Sayyid Zuabi agreed, “The main problem we’ve discovered with cease-fires is that you are expected stop fighting. And that’s OK if you don’t mind sitting around in a wrecked building keeping warm around an oil-barrel fire. It’s not so much fun if you were expecting to be storming the Presidential palace and keeping warm around a nice bonfire of secret policemen.”
Syrian civilian Nizar Ismat commented, “Oh don’t mind us, the freezing winter conditions out in the open are just as effective in killing us all as barrel bombs. Just think, one decent storm and the whole problem will be solved.”
