Syria Just a Tad Uncomfortable with Americans Still ‘Hanging Around’

Syria has confessed that it is finding it a bit creepy that America hasn’t followed through with its intention to head home following what was supposed to be a long weekend stay but has gone on just a little bit too long for comfort.

“Don’t get us wrong, it’s been great having them here. They make a lot less mess than the Turks. But once we heard that they had beaten ISIS, great news by the way, and we don’t want to seem like we are splitting hairs, but hasn’t any one actually told ISIS they are beaten? But hey, what do we know, we just live here. Anyway, we just feel that once a guest has packed up their bags, they shouldn’t hang around the kitchen expecting us to make lunch. Look, do they not have a number for a local taxi service? Because I think we have a couple of cards stuck on the fridge door.”

“America is currently relaxing on Syria’s front lawn and wondering out loud, “what’s for dinner?”