State Department Changes Seattle Threat Level to ‘Mideast’

By "ES" in Seattle, Washington - Emailed to me by "ES" in Seattle, Washington who wants to remain pseudonymous. Corresponding OTRS email sent Mon, Jun 1, 2020 at 3:07 PM., CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=90878003

Following the recent escalation of sectarian rifts in Seattle, Washington, the US Department of State issued a “Mideast level” travel advisory warning to the liberal-tech hub.

“American citizens should use extreme caution and if possible avoid all travel to Seattle for the foreseeable future”, read the State Department memo. At a briefing to reporters a spokesperson said that Washington state’s biggest city was now a scene of a sectarian rift. “We observed a coalition of hippies, minorities, unemployed bartenders, bored teenagers from the nearby suburbs, and anarchists take over a piece of land from the regime, and establish an autonomous zone.”

The spokesperson warned about the potential for violence “either between the rebel coalition and the local regime forces, or from infighting amongst the various factions within the rebel coalition.”

Many idiots who planned on traveling despite the Covid-19 pandemic canceled travel plans to the region. It is very rare for American cities to reach Mideast level warnings. In a clarification to the hysteria the State Department pointed out that “this isn’t like an Iraq or Syria level warning, we’re talking more like Kurdistan or the West Bank.”

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