Prince Charles Opens up About Beauty of Iran, Finding His True Calling

By New Zealand Defence Force from Wellington, New Zealand - 20151104_OH_H1013410_0003.jpg, CC BY 2.0,

Prince Charles has announced that he would like to visit Iran. The announcement came in the wake of continued civilian protests against the Iranian regime.

“Yes, obviously I would like to [go to Iran],” Prince Charles told the Sunday Times, “I know that Iran – first as Persia and then as the Islamic Republic of Iran – has been such an important part of the world for many centuries and has contributed so much to human knowledge, culture, poetry, and art. I mean, really remarkable people. Who else would have thought of killing homosexuals by hanging them from cranes, or arresting thousands of women for not wearing a proper hijab or not wearing a hijab properly, and then raping them in prison as a means of torture? Just think about it: Legally mandating the marriage of girls at the age of 13? Courts permitting the marriage of girls as young as 9 years old? Splendid! Well done, old chaps.”

“In addition, the ayatollahs really have found a wonderful way to deal with the public’s hate speech that we would be wise to consider here in Britain. I could go on, but you probably get the idea that these are simply marvelous people.

“I see myself as a peacemaker”, added  Prince Charles, “And as someone who wrecked my own home and ultimately drove my ex-wife to utter despair and all sorts of eating disorders I think I would be uniquely suited to bringing about peace in the Middle East”.

“The time to stand with the mullahs is now”, Prince Charles concluded, “Inshallah, if not now, when?”