Parkland Crisis Actors Demanding Double Time for Syria Work

By Barry Stock [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Parkland professional acting troop, unofficial motto, “You Shoot, We Cry”, have been in talks through their agents on requiring extensive overtime payments for their recent work in Douma, Syria.

A spokesperson for the group commented, “We’ve been flat out these past weeks and we simply feel that our commitment to our craft needs to be recognized by our Zionist/Anti 2A/Deep State masters”.

“Frankly, being required to jet over to Syria on short notice to roll around in the rubble frothing at the mouth and then lying really still has been one ‘crisis’ too many. Didn’t recognize us in the pictures till a Reddit thread pointed it out? Yeah, that’s how convincing we are… And we’ve discussed this internally and the cultural appropriation of pretending to be dead Syrians kids is causing us some issues.

“Seriously it’s not as if we won’t have plenty more domestic work to be getting on with.”