Palestinians Pretty Sure Marching Will Work This Time

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Following last week’s “March of Return” in Gaza, Palestinians say they are almost positive that this time marching, burning tires, and throwing rocks will pressure Israel to concede to their demands.

One protester explained, “Both my father and grandfather marched and threw rocks before me, and I proudly carry on this 70-year tradition. But, I am happy to say that I truly believe that this is the last year. Inshallah, 2018 will be the year that throwing rocks over the border fence will convince the Israeli Government to end their military occupation and allow all seven million Palestinians to return to Palestine.”

A Hamas spokesperson told the Mideast Beast, “We believe that this is the year that marching, throwing stones, burning tires and getting shot will enable us to crush the Zionist-colonialist entity and convince all the Jews to return to Europe. If the past 70 years have taught us anything, it’s that we just need to keep trying the same thing but only with more conviction. Oh, and of course, we will do our best to stab the occasional Jew. That ought to do it.”

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