Kerry Demands Kim Turn Over Nukes to Iran

In a bold move made in response to President Trump’s upcoming meeting with the North Korean dictator, former Secretary of State John Kerry has demanded Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un turn over all its nuclear weapons to the Islamic Republic of Iran.

“If Rocket Man is serious about avoiding war with America, he is going to have to turn over all his nukes to the only person in the world that we can truly trust,” Kerry declared as he boarded a privately-chartered jet for Pyongyang. “And that’s my homeboy AK, Ayatollah Khamenei.”

It was not clear in what capacity Kerry, who holds no position in Trump’s government, was acting. But he left no doubts about his demands: Kim must immediately ship all his nuclear weapons and rockets to the Iranian regime or risk US-led regime change.

“Given how moderate the Iranians have become since the nuclear deal,” Kerry noted, “maybe we will let them run North Korea too.”