Jews, Arabs Stage Pro-Peace “Flash Orgy” on Temple Mount

JERUSALEM – A lewd mass protest on one of the world’s holiest sites ended in violence on Friday, with dozens hospitalized and hundreds arrested.

Disguised as both tourists and Muslim worshippers, over 300 Israelis and Palestinians of various ages, genders and sexualities converged on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem’s Old City at midday to stage what media outlets have dubbed a “flash orgy.”

The participants, who described their provocative protest as a non-violent effort to promote peace between their two warring nations, donned condoms printed with the Israeli and Palestinian flags before assuming clearly rehearsed positions. The protest’s centerpiece, the so-called “holy centipede,” consisted of 100 alternating Jews and Arabs locked in a pansexual train of vaginal and anal penetration in the shape of the Semitic letter, Shin, the first letter of both the Hebrew and Arabic words for peace (Shalom and Salaam, respectively), and which resembles the numeral 3 rotated 90 degrees clockwise.

The spectacle, which was streamed live by the organizers and rapidly went viral on social media, featured numerous chants, including “occupy my G-spot,” “suck on my Molotov cocktail,” “squat on my face, not on my land,” and “shed cum, not blood.”

The chanting quickly became mixed with cries of outrage from nearby Muslim worshippers, who menacingly lunged at the group. Repelled by a circle of buff gay Tel Avivian gym junkies, the counter-protesters made do with throwing stones into the fornicating mass, moderately wounding numbers 24, 25, 62 and 87 on the “holy centipede,” and lightly wounding three in another formation, a V-shaped “Clit lovers for Co-existence” cunnilingus chain.

Raed Salah

Northern Israel’s ‘Islamic Movement’ Leader Raed Saleh, who blasted the “flash orgy” as “Zionist-orchestrated sexual terrorism”

The protest lasted for less than four minutes, when Israeli security forces broke through the defensive cordon and arrested most of the participants. The fiercest resistance came from the “holy centipede” – rounds of tear gas and rubber bullets were used to break up the copulating protesters, with at least eight men hospitalized with penile fractures after police violently ripped sections of the human snake apart.

While being led away on a stretcher, a handcuffed 81-year-old tailor from Jerusalem, later identified as second-in-command of the city’s ‘Flash Peace’ branch, said: “Let a great tsunami of sweat, semen and vaginal juice wash away all the hatred and bloodshed.” He also warned that additional cells planned similar protests at other religious sites across Israel and Palestine: “You won’t see it coming, but we will come.” In between pulling pubic hair from her teeth, another detainee, an Arab Christian lesbian from Jaffa, proclaimed: “There is no god but Al’Labia, and my Jewess-loving tongue is Her secretion-slurping serpent.”