Jeremy Corbyn Offers “Jewish Affairs” Consultation to Hamas Friends

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Jeremy Corbyn, the recently replaced British Labour Party leader, has generously offered “Jewish Affairs” consultation to his “Hamas friends.” Corbyn spoke to The Mideast Beast via Zoom after being reassured that TMB has no links whatsoever to “financial Zionist backers.”

“As Britain’s leading expert on Jewish affairs, I naturally offered my vast expertise to my dear Hamas friends. That’s what anti-racist friends are for.”

Corbyn said his first task would be to lead a “professional and super-balanced” inquiry of alleged antisemitism in the Hamas party.

“Even before glancing at Hamas’ peaceful charter, I can already conclude without hesitation that Hamas does not have a single anti-Semitic bone in its progressive Jihad body. I am committed to ensuring that the Hamas party is a welcoming and secure place for anti-Zionist post-Jews.”

Corbyn blamed Hamas’ “slightly tarnished image” on “wicked Zionist propaganda.”

“Just like me, Hamas members are misunderstood human rights champions who have absolutely nothing against Jews, only Zionists. We are simply peaceful critics of Israel’s extremist policies, especially those racist policies that prevent the exhausted Jewish state from finally resting in peace.”

Corbyn concluded by praising Hamas as a “force for good” in the Middle East.

“Hamas is basically the Mother Theresa of the Middle East. Hamas benevolently helps poor Gazans to survive by providing them with indispensable commodities such as falafel, bomb belts, missiles and Arabic translations of Mein Kampf, written by Europe’s most misunderstood and failed Renaissance man Adolf Hitler.”

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