Israelis Concerned Another War with Hezbollah Will Disrupt Weed Supply

As Hezbollah is in the process of rebuilding itself in Lebanon after fighting in Syria, it is Israelis who are, more than anyone else, the most concerned. After all, the majority of marijuana imported into Israel comes from Lebanon, and Hezbollah has a serious piece of the green and sticky black business.

“Look, I hate Hezbollah just as much as any of my fellow Israelis”, noted one resident from Tel Aviv. “And they should be destroyed, kind of like how everyone says al-Qaeda and ISIS have been. On the other hand, I know where my green comes from. If I can’t hit my bong a few times a day because there’s a weed shortage, what am I supposed to think about things like politics and national security? Defeating Hezbollah really is a double-edged sword.”

Speaking with The Mideast Beast another Israeli said, “I’m in the reserves and I’m ready to fight and defend against any and all threats to my country. But if we’re shelling the daylight out of Lebanon, I know exactly what’s going up in flames. How am I supposed to relax after battle?”

“Honestly, another war with Syria seems the more expedient way to go.”