The Mideast Beast Retracts Following Claims Made by Brian Williams

Given The Mideast Beast’s (TMB) commitment to accuracy in reporting and our nonexistent long-term relationship with NBC Nightly News’ Mr Brian Williams, after careful research The Mideast Beast feels compelled to retract the following claims:

Brian Williams did not suggest the name ‘Israel’ to David Ben-Gurion

Brian Williams was not aboard the Enola Gay on August 6, 1945

Brian Williams did not tell Yasser Arafat that kaiffyas “look totally rad”

Brian Williams was not on the Grassy Knoll on November 22, 1963

Brian Williams did not interview Jesus on the Cross, nor suggested Christ as a last name

Brian Williams was not present when Moses parted the Red Sea

Brian Williams did not tell Isaac Herzog that the nickname ‘Bougie’ would help him score with chicks

Brian Williams never taught Miley Cyrus to Twerk

Brian Williams did not tell Netanyahu that Barak Obama “loves surprises”

Brian Williams was not the loyal second to a mild-mannered science teacher in his effort to build a meth empire

Brian Williams did not help dig the Suez Canal

Brian Williams never told TID that “in journalism, there is no substitute for the truth.”

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