The leader of the Islamic State, al-Baghdadi, was shocked to find his name on a list of other adulterers from the hacked Ashley Madison website. In a surprising twist, the Islamic State’s barbaric policy of rewarding fighters with victory slaves-brides did not lead to blossoming relationships. Al-Baghdadi told The Mideast Beast that he had simply “lost the sparks” with all his regular and slave-wives. The wives in question could not be reached for comment.
The findings were of particular concern for all involved in the fight against ISIS who “were certain” that he had been killed the previous month in an Iraqi air strike. Most likely this implies more training for Iraqi forces. Enjoy U.S. taxpayers!